Nest Learning Thermostat
Look at what I got! Neener Neener Neener!
It’s a SMART home thermostat that I the stupid pig that I am can control from my iPad ANYWHERE. I installed it all by myself too. I have all the mechanical abilities of a freaking goldfish but I could even figure out this thing enough to talk to the wonderful helpful folks at Nest on the phone.
Let’s go over some of the things the sales people will not tell you up front OK?
Teddypig’s ground rules for owning a Nest Learning Thermostat…
1) It’s expensive yo! 250 big ones for a fucking home thermostat! There is no getting around this… You got to want this thing to save you money on your energy bill and make running your heating and cooling system a godsend of touch screen easy-peasy techno weenie living. Then you are going to pay for that privilege got it?
2) Before even looking at a Nest ask yourself one simple question… Do you have a home wifi system? If the answer is NO you do not get to have a Nest. Do not pass go, do not collect 250. Done!
3) OK, now go to your old home thermostat. Unhook that sucker from the wall and look for any wire or connection labeled 110V… if you see one run! Run for the god damn hills! Call your local heating and cooling guy and get a new everything installed in your home and while he’s at it have him install the damn Nest in a system that will not kill the Nest or you for that matter.
110V systems are ancient and must be destroyed before they burn the house down to the ground and you right along with it. Also, have you thought about changing your hair color…
4) Last big issue. While you got that old thermostat unhooked count the number of wires. Yeah, count em. If your have more than four go get any information on what is installed in your home. I mean get ALL the information… we are talking brand, build, serial numbers, is it a Heat Pump, is it a Trane, could it be a Humidifier on and on and on. You get the hint.
If you have four wires attached to your Thermostat then all the documentation on the Nest Website was made for you and you alone. The video along with the documentation is plainly about installing a four wire system. If you have a Heat Pump with 6 wires like I did you need to call them when you get the Nest with all that information I just told you to get and get ready to figure out how to wire it in with their help. I did it so it’s not impossible but you are gonna be experimenting. I had to call back twice because the air conditioning could not turn the fan on. Rearranging 6 wires in that little Nest back plate is a bitch I tell you.
I am telling you all this to just be prepared for some of the more obvious problems but remember… I am a complete idiot and you can probably do all this without a net.
So how do I like my Nest?
The unit itself is superb. The controls are crystal clear and the setup reminds me of setting up an Apple iPhone or iPad. They are that slick.
Some of the automated settings suck ass but this thing lets you turn them the fuck off À la carte. The “auto-scheduling”‘ feature comes to mind as being one of the things I turned the hell off the minute I figured out it was changing my settings while I was still in the house. They need to really rethink the calendar on that one, what the function is supposed to do next to how you are supposed to interact with it and the algorithm… Because WTF was that all about? They forgot important things like where is the god damned fan controls on my iPad app people? Stupid programmers! But that’s just some rough edges they can reprogram at will. Remember the wifi thingy the Nest requires you to have? Yes, this freaky smart deallio updates it’s software, checks the local weather report, and probably talks directly to the NSA about your nasty habits every day come rain or shine.
The quick summary is yes, I firmly believe the Nest is worth 250 big ones. It’s the best Apple iPad app I got because it does things. Real things, in my house.