Bridget Midway: Love My Way
April 7, 2007
Love My Way by Bridget Midway
From: Loose-Id
This review is dedicated to Annie the most excellent romance reviewer. Although our views on this book will be completely different I respect her and admire her opinion. She rocks!
I am not a BDSM expert. That my friends would take far more years of service than I have ever given a Top. I was simply lucky you might say. I was introduced to and fell madly in love with a full time, old school, Gay BDSM, Leatherman Top, by the name of John Noble. This of course meant that even with as little knowledge and or interest I actually had in BDSM and Leather I had better get busy learning the ropes so to speak.
John was, and will always be in my heart, the best teacher I ever served, the only man who’s collar I have proudly worn, and our time together was far too short. Master Noble is gone but what he taught me I hold very dear. Maybe someday I might be so lucky again but I am not holding my breath on that point. Sometimes lightening will only strike once but the change it brings is enough.
Oh Bridget, I feel bad. No no no guys, I feel a little guilty here. I am not gonna knock this review out of the park with my usual caustic grip of “who gives a shit” humor today because I will try and analyze and explain my opinion as best I can.
Now Bridget Midway why why why the hell The Bachelor? Why use a reality TV show that sucked so hard for the main premise of this book? EGADS!
The Bachelor if you have never seen this abomination to all things romantic and good just follow the link and read all about it my friends. This was one of the shows that made me swear off reality programming for good, forever and ever and ever. Even now I cringe in pain thinking of THAT SHOW (with the fake Italian Prince ewwwww…) and that promise I made to myself that dark night which is truly sad because Project Runway might return and well, I cannot watch it now.
Anyway back to the book, Our “hero” Eagan Morton that we get to meet right off the bat comes across to me as some Simon Cowell clone from American Idol. Ugh! Well I am sorry but the buzzer just sounded again, being an insulting and demanding egoist asshole from hell makes him about as much a Top as I am.
Now our love interest Ananda Zelder, whom I liked. She seemed smart and personable, talented and committed to her dance. I could see her going on the show to fuck with Master Ego. It made perfect sense to me really. I might be evil and do the same thing.
So you see the problem here already? I am looking at the books “hero” as a big old fucking jerk who from now on I will call… Master Ego.
Now back to our Bachelor rip off… 12 contestants vie to become Master Ego’s submissive. Woohoo! Let’s insult every bottom worth their salt out there, shall we?
Prizes! That is fucking insulting! I have never got on my hands and knees and licked a Tops boot for the chance to win what is behind door number one. I do it to “serve the man” and I am proud of my “service” and the giving of it. As a slave that is my only possession, the only gift I can give.
The whole 12 women thing was too Barbie Goes To A Beauty Pageant for me. BDSM if taken down to it’s core, if you strip away the traditions and the actions is about focus, intense focus, between a Top and a bottom. What are 12 women competing in a game show gonna be focused on? Yeah, I thought so too.
That is not all my friends Master Ego goes for my last nerves about mid-way through the damn book. Pansy got canned for eating the Strawberry Sauce… Why did Master Ego not ask beforehand each submissive about possible allergies and yes, that is his role not his assistants. Freesia got canned for using the Gel Candle on Meadow… Why did Master Ego not see the Gel Candle and order it to be taken out of the room immediately, that is his role? BUZZZZZZZZZZ! Master Ego, you are the weakest link!
I used to watch John test every rope, every chain, every structure he was planning to hang me from, every needle, every flogger, every whip. John would scan every dungeon we went in and if there was any chance of an accident possibly occurring outside of his control he would not do the scene. Trust is something a Master earns by showing the bottom how important, how special, and how precious they are. We are not toys that are there to be played with and then left lying around for someone else to pick up and put away. This is the feeling given over and over again in this book.
Master Ego is not in control of the scenes he performs, he is not in control of the people he allows in his life, he is not in control of those who even just work for him. What kind of a Top is he? Where is the formality, the calm, the commanding experience that I expect from a Top?
“So, that whole whipping thing, you okay with that now, or is your hand a bit off like last time?” Ophelia asked as he took each step hard and militant-like.
With her cutting words though, he stopped his march. Ananda stayed about two steps behind him and didn’t move a muscle. Eagan glared back down to the front door area.
Ophelia grabbed her left shoulder and pushed over her camisole top strap. “The mark you left is almost gone. See?” She glanced at Ananda and smiled. “It didn’t hurt that much anyway.”
WTF? Love My Way presents many concepts about BDSM one being Safe, Sane, and Consensual This is all well and good but BDSM is mostly about personal responsibility and taking risks. Where the hell is the personal responsibility here? Safe, Sane, and Consensual is a silly fucking catch phrase not an absolute. Everything in BDSM has a level of risk involved and by submitting to a Top YOU, as the bottom, accept personal responsibility for the level of risk YOU are taking. The Top is there to provide risk management, that is his role.
So Ophelia using this boo boo as some indication of abuse is fucked up and all sorts of wrong. Honey, if that is all you have to show for your much remarked over “experience” then you have not been doing BDSM right at all. I have marks on me going back years. These people do not in any way represent those who are really practicing and experienced, real as in a lifestyle not a weekend fling, BDSM. This is more Peyton Place than I would ever accept or put up with or be a part of. Yes folks, you can always take off the collar hand it back and walk away.
I will point to the next issue I had…
“And you and everyone else around here be respectful of my home and business.” Eagan pointed to stickers that lined his front door. “I run a business out of my home that’s approved by the city. I have the proper permits to film here. I keep my crews in my home, so there has been nothing going on outside. What you and the other neighbors are reacting to are the TV shows that you must be watching.”
No no no no Master Ego! One of the first rules of Basic Leather Protocol is DO NOT scare the little old ladies. DO NOT wear full Leather in inappropriate situations and ALWAYS show respect towards others even when they do not respect you. If you fail to do this you are WRONG! It is not that he is doing this show in his house that bothers me, it is his lack of respect for those who show understandable concern and the holier than thou soapbox he places himself on to prove their worries foolish.
Again, Master Ego does not expect to earn trust. He fails as a Master of anything. I think I have said enough here. This book is available at Loose-Id.
If you want to read a good, straight, BDSM romance that has the unique ability to show a strong, masculine, straight, Leather bottom who is normally dominant outside the dungeon, but subservient while in his chosen role. Damn, it does not get better than this…
Joey W. Hill: Natural Law
From: Ellora’s Cave
Book 2 in the Nature of Desire series
Teddy Pig quote… num num num num num num num TASTY!
Dear Author’s Review of Natural Law
I apologize Bridget it is not your hard work or your skill as a writer that I am upset over it is the underlying dynamics that break the spell. I hope you can understand… Grade D
What other people think…
Dionne Galace
Romance Review Today
Fallen Angel Reviews
Romance Divas
Love Romances & More
[...] Contrasting Reviews - Dionne Galace loved it Love My Way and gave it an A-. Teddy Pig, however, had issues with several of the BDSM aspects in Love My Way and gave it a D. [...]
Oh well. Can’t please everyone. Thanks for buying the book! I appreciate your support.
You are a dang good writer. I just think BDSM is a harder thing to write then people think. Hell, even with what I know I think it takes a certain type of character and situation to actually pull it off.
I thought about your review and I wanted to clear the air on a few things you mentioned. I don’t mind the D review. I’d rather have that or an A (thanks, Annie!) than a mediocre B or C because it means that you were so into the content that you felt compelled to review it harder than normal. Plus, I have delusions that readers love to root for the underdog.
Why “The Bachelor”? Why did you mention Simon Cowell from “American Idol”? For the same exact reason. Love it or hate it, the most popular romantic coupling-type show out there is “The Bachelor.” “Flavor of Love” probably comes a close second, but I’m digressing. The mention of that show is an easy shorthand for readers to relate to, just like when you mentioned that you thought I portrayed my hero as a Simon Cowell-type. Definitely what I wasn’t going for.
So that no one is confused, my hero is not British. He lives, works, and is from Virginia. So why not say my hero is like Piers Morgan or Len Goodman or David Ian? Not really familiar with those folks? Respectively, they are the snarky judges from “America’s Got Talent,” “Dancing with the Stars” and “Grease: You’re the One That I Want.” Again, it’s an easy reference for readers to go, “Oh, he’s like that.” I think the biggest difference though between my hero and those judges, especiallly Simon Cowell, is that he doesn’t embarrass or humiliate contestants. He was having a really shitty day. Hell, I’ve been known to be a bitch when I’m having a crap day, too. By the way, I really patterned Eagan’s attitude (definitely not his look) after Donald Trump (Don’t hold that against me), again, another snarky judge you could have compared to my hero. Also, for the record, I have never seen an episode of “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette.” I’ll start watching when the principal lead is not white and the two finaling contestants are of an opposite race from him/her, or if the bachelor or bachelorette has a black, Hispanic, Asian, etc. in the top two like I did in my book. And I’m surprised you didn’t mention the racial aspect of the story. I’d be curious to see what you think of a black person serving a white Master/Dom.
You’re right. Eagan being an asshole does NOT make him a Top, and I certainly didn’t portray his dominance that way. It makes him human. He’s having a bad day and he’s snapping at people. I’d like to think we can all relate to that. He shows his compassion several times, especially with Nina, Aspen, Poppy and even Freesia, though you didn’t like the wax scene with her.
Let’s get something straight. ALL reality shows, in some form or another, are insulting. Shows like “The Bachelor” trivializes love. “The Apprentice” does not show the full worth a person has in the business field. Even “American Idol” or “Project Runway” does not accurately show a person’s talent. Everyone can have an off day. It’s those off days that get people booted off shows. Again, digressing. So why write a book where a Dom looks for a submissive via a reality TV show? Because just like with those shows, it’s an entertaining idea. One thing you failed to mention in your review is that the idea of the show was not Eagan’s. As a matter of fact, he DIDN’T want to do for the reason you mentioned, and the day of the show, he was going to back out. So why did Eagan do the show? Ratings. He knew this would get his name out there and hopefully boost some sales. It’s the same reason any celeb does/hosts a reality show. Everyone had pretty much forgotten Paula Abdul before “Idol.” David Hasselhoff got so popular with “America’s Got Talent” that he made up his own catch phrase, “Don’t hassle the Hoff.” I didn’t say it was a GOOD catch phrase.
But as a Dom, Eagan didn’t think he would find a submissive on a show. Since we’re quoting passages from my book, here’s one when Eagan’s friend Phil poses the idea. This is what Eagan thinks of the whole reality TV show thing: “Picking someone to fill Ophelia’s spot couldn’t just occur on some cheesy reality TV show. It had taken months for Eagan to get Ophelia to trust him, and even longer to train her. A special bond like that couldn’t just happen over a two-month period in front of cameras.”
And I’m sorry. I disagree on the prizes. I’ve been with many Dommes who have purchased gifts for their subs. 5″ red stilletto heels for one male submissive, a bracelet for another male submissive, a special knife purchased for another male sub for the Domme to use on him. I’ve watched Dommes talk about these gifts and see their subs and slaves light up. It’s not unheard of for a Dom or Domme to get their subs or slaves presents, especially while serving. For example, you marry someone because you love them, just like you serve your Dom/Master because you want to serve. If your spouse or Dom/Domme buys you flowers or gets you a corset just because, it’s not a bad thing. Besides after each reward challenge, what is Eagan going to do? Tell them great job and that’s it? It’s a double-edge sword here. Eagan has to satisfy the viewing audience as much as he has to play up the reality TV show angle.
As far as Eagan confronting his male neighbor (not sure where the little, old ladies thing came into play), I don’t think what he said was at all scary, just matter-of-fact. Eagan NEVER mentions what he does in his home (as far as the BDSM events). He simply says he runs a business out of his home when his neighbor questions the sexual aspect of Eagan’s business. How is that scary? Plus, Eagan wasn’t wearing leather. Throughout the book, Eagan NEVER wore leather when he played. He didn’t even have a whip, paddle, cane or flogger in his hand when he was at the door. He was wearing pajama bottoms and slides. I know. In-your-face BDSM stuff, right? Not getting that whole scary thing.
The neighbor threatens Eagan more in the scene you’re talking about than Eagan ever says or does. Eagan is NOT professing that BDSM is right and the neighbors have nothing to worry about. None of that is in the scene. Quite frankly, it’s none of the neighbor’s business what goes on in Eagan’s home, or in any home where BDSM is practiced, and THAT’S the true point I was making.
I’m, actually surprised, that as a reader and someone in the Lifestyle that you weren’t saying, ‘Hooray for Eagan!’ for defending his right to do whatever her wants in his home when his NEIGHBOR, not his friend, lover or even mother, questions what sexual practices is occuring in Eagan’s house. How the hell did this guy get the balls to come over to a stranger’s house and ask about Eagan’s sex life? What business was that of his? I could see if he plays in public. But he doesn’t. And Eagan is supposed to make the neighbor feel okay with this?
Re-reading the scene, I think Eagan took the high road with this guy. I’m a black woman and my man is 20 years older than me and white. I find it insulting and offensive when people ask me personal questions about my relationship with him, as though they have a right simply because my relationship is different from “the norm.” It’s not my job or obligation to explain why I love my man. And in the scene you mention, the neighbor isn’t reacting to the show. It’s apparent from what he says that he’s never seen the show. He’s reacting to news stories. The neighbor even says the news says you’re (Eagan) a racist and you’re torturing women. Had the neighbor ASKED Eagan about what was going on, the scene may have played out differently. As it is, the neighbor is the one being invasive.
And I’m truly, truly shocked that you didn’t call me on the carpet for one particular scene that I took extreme creative license when I wrote it. Even 1 Dom called me on it already. The play party scene. Because the book is an erotica, I took some liberties with the scene and added an aspect that wouldn’t occur at a normal play party. I, personally, know this, but I wanted the scene to be titillating. So before you call me on that, consider my hand slapped.
I respect your views, especially with your background in BDSM. But I wanted to address some of the statements you made.
Thank you for the compliment about my writing. If readers want to get a good idea of Eagan and what he’s truly thinking when this whole idea is cooked up, read the first chapter on my website at: http://www.bridgetmidway.com/Love_My_Way.html There’s another different excerpt on the Loose Id site at: http://www.loose-id.com/BMLMWex.aspx And I posted a third excerpt in my newsletter group a couple of months ago. You can read that if you join at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/midway_lowdown/ This is not a chatters list. I post my newsletter once a month and that’s it.
BridgeT
http://www.BridgetMidway.com
Thank you Bridget for your thoughts regarding what I said. You have thought it out. But, I still feel the whole “game show” premise undermined your hero from the beginning.
“Eagan being an asshole does NOT make him a Top, and I certainly didn’t portray his dominance that way. It makes him human. He’s having a bad day and he’s snapping at people. I’d like to think we can all relate to that. He shows his compassion several times, especially with Nina, Aspen, Poppy and even Freesia, though you didn’t like the wax scene with her.”
I did not so much beat up on Egan over how he treated people in a “game show”. I got upset over what his responsibilities were to a bottom. It was his place to build trust and create a safe environment for the scene. He failed, but did not admit to his failure. It just built up that asshole image even further when I figured you would try to show him as this great thoughtful experienced Top. I did not get that from his penalizing others for what was his duty in my opinion.
“Quite frankly, it’s none of the neighbor’s business what goes on in Eagan’s home, or in any home where BDSM is practiced, and THAT’S the true point I was making.”
I agree with that statement as I said in the review it was not his defense of his house that bothered me but the way he brushed people off and not just here but also the radio interview. So I lumped all that together in my mind. But I still feel my thoughts were valid in that he did not show respect to their understandable worries. It is more a sign of experience to me to handle such things with dignity and kindness than to confront. I felt Egan confronted, not soothed too many times.
When you stick every thing I said together I just felt Egan failed to be a character whom as a Top understood and was experienced at building trust in people he might not even know that well. That is something I like to see in a Top even though you and I know it is partially a role.
“Because the book is an erotica, I took some liberties”
No no no I do understand the limitations and agree there are limitations to what sells and what will be accepted etc.
I was more concerned in the dynamics that you presented not your skill as a writer. I want to see you write more BDSM obviously you love this topic and you understand the lifestyle.
“I’ve been with many Dommes who have purchased gifts for their subs. 5″ red stilletto heels for one male submissive, a bracelet for another male submissive, a special knife purchased for another male sub for the Domme to use on him. I’ve watched Dommes talk about these gifts and see their subs and slaves light up.”
Right but those gifts are not expected when you first submit to a Dom. It is simply what you enjoy doing. I think the “game show” deal undermined the point of why people get in to BDSM and also the other characters that were there on purpose to win.
I think if you had not introduced the “game show” background and gone for a simple straight forward BDSM romance you would be rocking. I hope to read your next book.
I just disagreed with you on this one. I still think you are a pretty damn good writer.
I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree, which is cool. You’re coming at this with your experience, which I appreciate. I wrote this based on my research, which I stand behind. I’ve had Doms comment that they like the book (except for the play party scene for true Lifestyle reasons), so I don’t want readers to think that I’m completely off the mark here. Everyone is going to be coming at this from their own perspective, and that’s fine. That’s what fiction is supposed to do.
As far as the whole reality TV aspect of it, I definitely stand behind that. Taking that out would have made this book like every other BDSM novel out there. As a reader, I’m bored with that. As a reader, I would want to read something that’s not like anything else out there. And as a writer, I need to push myself to write stimulating and original stories.
I liked the reality TV show aspect because readers got to see 12 different takes from the contestants who are both involved and not involved in the BDSM lifestyle. You got to read their fears, even fears from those within the Lifestyle. As much as this was Eagan’s story, this was also Ananda/Begonia’s. She has a huge transformation in it as well.
Thanks, again, for the compliments about my writing. I sincerely mean that.
BridgeT
http://www.BridgetMidway.com