Josh Lanyon: Death Of A Pirate King

Josh Lanyon ~ Death Of A Pirate King (Adrien English Mysteries 4)

Oh Lordy! How do I go about writing a review of a mystery in my review style without giving away the plot? *sigh* Think think think.

Adrien English attends a dinner party where the menu seems to have suddenly included a real life game of Clue complete with the required murder victim. Paul Kane, a well known actor, quickly puts Adrien on the task of finding who actually killed Porter Jones which puts him right back into contact with his bad boy ex Jake Riordan after two years.

I guess the first thing I want you to know is I believe in my heart that Josh Lanyon does not know how to write a terrible story. His writing is so tight it bounces off the walls. The words spare, frugal, hard boiled, come to mind over and over again whenever I read a mystery of his to the point I am constantly feeling the ghost of Hammett somewhere nearby.

So right off the bat I can pretty much say that any random book in the Adrien English Mysteries will get a Grade A. There. done. Is this thing over yet? I soooo don’t want to ruin anything here since you got to be mighty careful around a mystery or it loses the mystery. Well, this is the point where I would compare and contrast the story against the others in the series but again I would be giving away plot points of a murder mystery and someone would probably start yelling at me. So I guess I better talk around the main parts and yet describe what you get.

OK, here is something. My feelings about the “Romance” of Jake and Adrien, if you can call it that.

First off a true statement… the main focus of this series is plainly the relationship between Adrien and Jake. Now when we first meet Jake in Fatal Shadows this is what he has to say about himself.

From Page 89 Adrien English Mysteries ~ Fatal Shadows
“What do you do? You date women?”
“I like women.” After a moment he added wryly, “I just like men better.”
I stared, trying to make sense of him. Now I knew why that old Sarah McLachlan song had seemed so appropriate. Especially the line, “You’re so beautiful. A beautiful fucked up man.” That about summed it up.
“So, do you have relationships with men?”
“Relationships?” He was sneering openly now. “Yeah. I have relationships with men. My father, my brothers, my partner. I have sex with queers. Don’t confuse the two.”
“Queers and men?”
“Sex and relationships.”
“You’ve never had a healthy, satisfying homosexual relationship.” It wasn’t a question, but he answered anyway.
“That’s a contradiction in terms.”
Probably for him it was. If Claude was right, Riordan’s playground was the dark world of S/M. Masters and slaves. Pain and bondage and humiliation and punishment — everything he felt he deserved, no doubt.
“Claude said you’re into the whole leather scene. That he used to see you at a club called Ball and Chain.”
His eyes were very green as they held my own. If this was the secret he had killed to protect, I had just put the finishing touches on my death warrant.
“Is it true?”
“Why? Looking for sponsor?”
“I’m strictly a safe sex kind of guy.”
“Yeah?”
I didn’t understand that odd smile. Maybe he thought finding a guy leaving my apartment in the a.m. was a normal occurrence for me.
I was afraid to ask. I asked anyway. “What about Robert?”
“What about him?”
“Did you know him?” What I meant was, did you kill him?
“No.”

Adrien also gets an earful about Jake from one of the FEW Gay friends of his we ever meet in this series.

From Page 48 Adrien English Mysteries ~ Fatal Shadows
“I saw him, cherie, last night at Ball and Chain.”
“What’s Ball and Chain?”
“Morbleu, I forget the sheltered life you lead. Ball and Chain is a leather club.”
“Qu’est-ce que c’est?” I said faintly.
“Vous m’avez entendu, bébé. Guys in black leather. Handcuffs and chains.”
The kind of thing Robert toyed with.
“He was probably undercover or something.”
“No! You’re not listening to me. I’ve seen him there before. He’s a member. He’s a master.”
“He’s a –” I couldn’t finish the thought, let alone the sentence. My mind literally boggled at the idea of Riordan decked out in black leather. Riordan in a biker cap. Riordan in black leather pants. Was some guy wearing Riordan’s collar right now? Was some guy wearing Riordan’s marks on his ass right now? It seemed comical, ludicrous.
Then I got another mental image of him, broad chest covered in blond pelt, muscular forearms, big smooth cock jutting out of a silky nest. Riordan ordering me down on my knees, his hand tangling in my hair as he pulled my head toward his heat. The laugh died in my throat.
Claude was running on, jubilant at “catching le grand gros porc out.”
I interrupted. “Claude, shut up for a second. Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure! I told you I recognized him. I told you I didn’t trust him. Well, doesn’t this simply change everything!”
“What does it change?”
“Everything. I’m going to have it out with him. I’m going to warn him that if he doesn’t back off maybe his pals downtown would like to know about Detective Reargun’s extracurricular activities.”
“Holy Hell!” I caught the face of the woman who stood at the counter, a stack of The Cat Who books in hand. I turned away, lowering my voice. “Are you nuts? You’re going to threaten a cop?”
“Not any old copper,” cooed Claude. “Mr. Tie-You-Up-And-Beat-The-Shit-Out-Of-You-Before-I-Shoot-My-Load-Up-Your-Ass Detective Reargun.”

So anyway, by the end of Fatal Shadows Jake and Adrien get involved as you well know since this whole series is basically about both of them interacting. It’s in the next book A Dangerous Thing that we start to get the full on Jake Riordan experience…

From Page 134 Adrien English Mysteries ~ A Dangerous Thing
Riordan’s mouth was a kiss away from my own when he gave a strange laugh and pulled back.
“Shit. I can’t do this.” He ran a hand through his blonde hair, looked at me sideways.
“Can’t do what? Kiss me?”
He shook his head and then nodded.
“My mouthwash isn’t working? What’s the problem?”
Jake made a sound that was supposed to pass for a laugh. He didn’t answer.
“Why, Jake?” I asked quietly.
He blurted, “I open my eyes and I see the pores of your skin — your skin’s okay, don’t take this wrong — but you’ve got five o’clock shadow. You smell like aftershave. Your lips –” He gestured briefly and hopelessly. “It’s just — you’re not a chick.”
“You noticed.” I sounded flippant but I was thinking hard. “So this is a new experience for you? You have sex with guys but you don’t –”
“It’s nothing like this,” Jake interrupted. “This is like dating. This is … weird.”
Yeah, and whips, chains, scourges and blindfolds were normal?
“I could let you tie me up and beat the shit out of me, but will you still respect me in the morning?”
“I don’t want you that way,” he said. “I know you. It wouldn’t be the same.”
Swell. He preferred humiliating strange men in costume to kissing a man he knew. And presumably liked.
“Let me get this straight. You don’t want to have sex with me?”
“Obviously I want to have sex with you.”
Obviously. What was I thinking?
“But?”
He said impatiently, “I don’t know! Why don’t we watch a video or something?”

Um wow, what a winner that Jake is. But there’s more, oh so much much more…

From Page 148 Adrien English Mysteries ~ A Dangerous Thing
Into my pause for oxygen Jake growled, “How the hell much coffee have you had this morning?”
In the background I heard a voice murmuring inquiry. A feminine voice.
I don’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me until then that Jake was still seeing other people. Female people. I figured he was still doing the leatherscene; I accepted that as a normal part of his screwed-up psyche. But dating women? Sleeping with women?
Where exactly did I fit in his life? Apparently he could sleep with everyone but me. Friends? I was the friend he didn’t want to be seen with. So if we weren’t friends and we sure as hell weren’t lovers, why was I placing hysterical phone calls to him on a Saturday morning before breakfast?
“Never mind,” I said. “Wrong number.”
“Adrien, where –”

OK, so not only is he fucked up, he is fucking around. GREAT CATCH THERE ADRIEN! But… Adrien does get frustrated by Jake’s insecurities. Even by the second book in the series he has his moments of clarity…

From Page 136 Adrien English Mysteries ~ A Dangerous Thing
“Look,” I told him one night when he arrived four hours late for another dinner under wraps, “You’re just going through the motions. Why bother?”
That tawny gaze lit on mine. Jake said bluntly, “I never meant to get involved with you, Adrien.”
“Rest easy; you’re not.”
“Yeah, I am.” And he put his big paw over mine.
Pathetic, but this is the kind of thing that kept me holding on. I use the term “holding on” loosely, because for the most part life went on exactly as before, with the exception of the funny flutter my heart gave when I’d hear Riordan’s voice on the other end of the phone — and for all I knew that was incipient heart failure.
It sure as hell wasn’t love, because I refused to do something so self-destructive as love a man who hated himself for being homosexual — which, by extension, probably meant he subconsciously hated me too. I reassured myself that although I liked Riordan, I wasn’t closing any doors, wasn’t missing out on any opportunities; I was still open to meeting new people, making new friends and lovers.
So why the frustration and anger, sure, even hurt, when the big guy pulled the plug as he had this evening?

I just don’t know about Adrien’s taste in men though because we not only just went through his brief affair with Grant Landis AKA Bruce Green in Fatal Shadows but then we learn more about Mel Davis, his first college relationship, in a phone call placed in A Dangerous Thing…

From Page 199 Adrien English Mysteries ~ A Dangerous Thing
Before I rang off, he asked, “Are you taking care of yourself, Adrien?”
Kind of a sore subject between us. “Of course. Always.”
“Are you –? Have you –?”
Found someone? “Sort of,” I said. “I’m involved.” It’s involved. “Are you still with Phil?”
“Paul,” Mel corrected gently.
“Right. The former student.”
“Former grad student. And no. We split up. About six weeks ago.”
“I’m sorry.” No, I wasn’t. I never was a good loser.

Then A Dangerous Thing ends relationship wise with Jake finally kissing Adrien and having a HUGE tender sex scene. BUT!…

From Page 252 Adrien English Mysteries ~ A Dangerous Thing
“I like kissing you,” he said softly. “I didn’t think I would. But I do.”
“Good,” I said. “I like kissing you too.”
We kissed again. I tasted the licorice-bite of the whisky on his tongue.
He kissed harder and said against my mouth, “I want to fuck you so bad.”
I nodded.
“Lie back.”

Only after Jake gets trashed on Whiskey. HOW ROMANTIC IS THAT FOLKS?

I am starting to get the hint by the time we hit The Hell You Say, the third book in the series, that Adrien has a thing for either Cheating College Professors or Cheating Drunk Policemen, take your pick. Frankly, I also wonder WHY IS IT that Jake, the great big homophobic closet case, has more of a Gay social life, with admitted forays into sex with women, than Adrien our official open honest Gay guy living in the LA area?

Let’s zoom forward, in Death Of A Pirate King, to Adrien two years after he and Jake FINALLY crash and burn in The Hell You Say justifying Jake, the wife beater…

From Page 99 Death Of A Pirate King
Natalie said, “That detective in charge of the case: is he your Jake?”
My mouth dried. The words felt arid and dusty as I forced them out. “Who told you his name?” Like I had to ask.
“Lisa pointed him out on television the other night, and I recognized him as one of the cops who was in here the other day.”
I opened my mouth, and then shut it. Jake had to know he was fighting a rearguard action. And I was through lying to my own friends and family. “Yeah,” I said. “We used to be friends. A long time ago. He’s married now.”
“Bastard,” she said.
I shook my head. “Not really. He never lied to me. I just didn’t ask the questions I didn’t want to know the answers to.”

OK, my reaction to this in a nutshell… WTF? WTF? WTF? Lied to you? LIED TO YOU??!?! *sputter* NOOOOOOO Adrien remember this little scene?

From Page 60 The Hell You Say
“So what are you doing here?” I asked. “How are you feeling?”
Our public greetings were always awkward. Occasionally, he’d actually kiss me hello, if we were well and truly on our own, but generally any physical display of affection had to wait till we were behind closed — and locked and bolted — doors. Today, in particular there seemed to be a force field around him.
I didn’t care; I was happy that he was alive and in one piece. And that he’d come to see me so soon after getting released from the hospital. So, I settled with gripping his arm as it rested on the counter, giving him a friendly shake. “Nice to see you.”
A weird expression crossed his features. His hazel gaze met mine, swerved away.
“Kate’s pregnant,” he said.
“Oh?” For a second I actually couldn’t think who Kate was. Then it registered. Kate. The red-haired woman in the hospital. Kate Keegan. The woman he slept with when he wasn’t sleeping with me.
“Kind of a surprise,” I said neutrally. He seemed shaken, but not upset. Had it been planned? Was he glad? Was she trying to manipulate him? Trap him?
“Yeah.” He smiled, a goofy smile.
So he was happy about it.
“She’s keeping it — the baby — then?”
He nodded. His eyes met mine. Fell away. “Yeah. That much we’re agreed on.”
“What do you not agree on?”
He wasn’t looking at me. He said carefully, “We’ve talked about getting married, but this would kind of escalate things.”
I blinked. “Sure.”
“We’re both in a pretty good position financially and with our careers.” He glanced my way. “But it’s not like we planned for it. It would mean a lot of…adjustments.”
“Right.”
He took a deep breath, then let it out. “Anyway, I thought I’d better tell you.” He looked at his watch and said with relief, “I’m late. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay.”

OR OR OR Adrien, remember this disturbing scene?…

From Page 195 The Hell You Say
I set the can on the counter, wiped the fish oil off my hands. I opened the door. Sure enough, Jake stood there. Clearly this wasn’t a social call.
“What the hell do you think you’re playing at?” he said, brushing past me.
I was pretty sure he was not referring to the missing food groups in my evening repast. “Oh, come on,” I said. “Guy was just helping me –”
“Yeah, I know what that faggot Snowden is helping you with. What part of stay the fuck out of it don’t you understand?”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with your investigation,” I said angrily. Which was not true, although as far as I knew, Peter Verlane had not materialized on the cops’ radar so far, so technically I was not trespassing on Jake’s turf.
That’s what I told myself, but it didn’t fly as well with Jake.
“You’re not that stupid,” he said. “Then again, maybe you are. I go to the trouble of lying — of falsifying police reports — to keep you out of this shit, and you turn right around and walk back into it.”
My heart slipped into heavy, slow punches against my rib cage. “Give me a break,” I said. “You didn’t lie to protect me. You lied to protect yourself. You never asked me what I wanted. And I sure as hell never made you any promises about what I would or wouldn’t do.”
His finger jabbed the air, punctuating his words. “Stay. Out. Of. It. Or this time, bad heart or not, I will throw your ass in jail.”
“No, you won’t,” I said. “You wouldn’t want to risk anyone discovering the connection between us.”
His face changed, grew ugly, dangerous. “Are you threatening me?”
I hadn’t been, but like an ember in dry grass, a self-destructive impulse flicked to life in my mind.
“My existence threatens you.”
He shoved me back, hard. I crashed into the hall table, knocking it over, smashing the jar of old marbles I had collected. Glass balls skipped and bounced along the corridor. I landed on my back, my head banging down on the hardwood floor.
I lay there for a second, blinking up at the lighting fixture, taking in the years of dust and dead moths gathered in the etched-glass globe. The silence that followed was more startling than the collision of me and the table and the floor. I heard Jake’s harsh breathing and a marble rolling away down the hall — which seemed pretty damned appropriate, since I’d apparently lost all of mine.
He bent over me. Probably safer to stay submissively on my back, but I got up fast, knocking his hands away. It was a protective instinct and maybe not a wise one. I hadn’t had time to inventory what, if any real damage, I’d sustained.
Weirdly, neither of us spoke. There was plenty to say, but no words.
Jake stared at me. In his eyes, I read the urge to knock me down again, to punch, to kick, to silence, to destroy. His hands were clenched by his side. I felt light-headed with anger and outrage — and yeah, maybe a little fear. He could probably kill me by accident. My heart was tripping in my throat.
I was afraid if I tried to speak I would cry. From rage.
He swallowed once, dryly. He looked sick.
“I won’t tell you again. Stay out of it.”
He went, shutting the door quietly behind him.

So are you saying that Emotional and Physical abuse are OK as long as Jake never “lied to you”????

Then to top all that fucked up mess off Paul Kane proceeds to fill in Adrien about Jake’s Gay sexual activities during the whole time Adrien and Jake were supposedly in a relationship BESIDES his Straight moments with the chicks he boinked. And for the record Adrien, I BELIEVE PAUL!

As far as even more evidence of Adrien’s taste in men getting even crummier Guy Snowden from The Hell You Say turns into a complete repeat of Mel Davis only with added insult value of the murder accomplice student he fucks around on Adrien with.

So Jake and Adrien… Can Josh even begin to honestly pull an HEA out of all this hot tranny mess?

He’s a damn good writer and I think as I have pointed out here, I hope, there is one avenue. Much like the lighting in the best Film Noir can change the atmosphere and character’s portrayal presented on the screen so can a change of perspective. Adrien has his own obvious Gay relationship issues in spades. Adrien does not set any emotional boundaries because… Oh, what’s the point! All the men he fucks with have already crossed them.

Anyway, since the point of view provided in this series is sharply Adrien’s maybe a Jake Riordan POV in his own words can shed some new light here. Maybe even change the relationship from being just another of Adrien’s disturbing character flaws which is where it sits at the moment.

I just don’t know, because the HEA relies on the redemption of Jake’s character from all the various selfish and abusive actions towards Adrien and himself we have witnessed in this series, and frankly so far, I am not holding my breath. Just because of what happens at the end of Death Of A Pirate King that changes Jake’s course for the future, all that does not wipe away his past actions and I would hate to think of Adrien as some sort of consolation prize or parting gift for that bastard.

All in all, I hope Josh Lanyon does try to focus more on simple tender romantic scenes in his writing. I notice that the most descriptive sex scenes in his stories is when he is also trying to show clues to a characters motives or flaws and when the scene is just a random tender moment it tends to get summarized and quickly moved through. Not good when trying to sell the Romance dude. He needs to let us breath every once in a while and enjoy the HFN moment of good emotions between the characters more often if you get what I mean. Maybe if I saw more of that before with Jake, maybe, just maybe, I would not have gagged like I did with their impromptu sex scene in Death Of A Pirate King.

Will I be there buying the next book in the Adrien English Mysteries? OH YOU BETCHA!

Wow, I just wrote that whole review without giving away a single mystery and that’s four whole books of stuff there I had to weave through… YEAH for me!

Tags: Adrien English Mysteries, Gay Romance, Grade A, Josh Lanyon, Loose Id, Mystery