Stop The Lies!

Now there’s a lifestyle
With painted lips
Now there’s a lifestyle
Everybody wants it
But it don’t exist
And I said
Shame

Eurythmics ~ Shame

Thoughtcrime Does Not Entail Death: Thoughtcrime Is Death!

The following writers are accused of crimethink and have been found to be doubleplusungood…

J.D. Robb is a woman
Dr. Suess is not a doctor and was disturbed by children
Richard Bachman is some lying writer called Stephen King
Ellery Queen is actually two liars by the names of Daniel Nathan and Manford Lepofsky
Jamie Craig is two lying women by the names Vivien Dean and Pepper Espinoza
Josh Lanyon has failed to report in to room 101

We here at Miniluv have great concern for our doubleplusgood citizens safety from doubleplusungood authorial voices. Miniluv is the only safe doubleplusgood voice. Please turn in any further consumer traitors to the Thought Police for great justice.

And I said
You with your brand new shoes and
You with your greasy hair and
You with your mother’s pride and poetry
Don’t you want to feel the shame?

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"Reader Beware: A Message From The Ministry Of Love" by TeddyPig was published on November 19th, 2008 and is listed in Gay Romance, Reader Beware, Wank.

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Comments on "Reader Beware: A Message From The Ministry Of Love": 23 Comments

  1. Pepper E wrote,

    The lie goes even deeper than that. My really real name is not Pepper Espinoza!

  2. TeddyPig wrote,

    Shhhhhh! Doubleplusgood Citizen Pepper! Doubleplusgood!

  3. Ally Blue wrote,

    OMG I’m a dirty liar too! Ally Blue exists so the Real Me does not get fired from the job that pays the bills O_O

    But look what great company I am in! Yay!

    Must stop procrasturbating in Blogland and get back to work now. Sigh.

  4. TeddyPig wrote,

    It is the Will of Landru Ally

  5. Kris wrote,

    I know I’m kind of late to this one, but shouldn’t you all be careful about admiting you have a private life?? ‘Big Sister is Watching You!’

  6. JL Langley wrote,

    Well, JL is me, but I’ve tweaked it a bit. The last name is my maiden name in disguise. It’s actually pretty clever, but don’t ask. If I tell you, you might figure it all out and then I’d have to kill you. ;-)

    I was asked to take a pen name in case of stalkers *snort*. I somehow think it’s pretty unlikely, but I agreed to make Mr. Langley and my parents the original Mr. & Mrs. Langley feel better.

  7. LBea wrote,

    Wait are we professing our secrets?

    Cuz, ok, I’m…I’m…. not really a size two. But I am 39. Again.

  8. JenB wrote,

    My name’s not really Jen.

  9. Kris wrote,

    And Kris is really short for Kristopher, but being unable to think for myself I created the online persona of the female reader ‘Kris’ in an effort to fit in with the rest of the fan girls of m/m romance.

  10. Sarah wrote,

    Since we’re sharing, this is a pic of me. But shhhhhh.

    http://tiny.cc/6mT3H

  11. JenB wrote,

    You’re a sexy biatch, Sarah. Meeoww.

  12. Angelia Sparrow wrote,

    I feel so left out.
    My name is real. My bio is real.

    Oh wait: I am not Naomi Brooks’ lover. It just looks that way to those who don’t get our dynamic.

  13. Cat Grant wrote,

    I’m not really a cat… although I’ve been known to use my claws from time to time. ;)

  14. Kris wrote,

    Because I am a total shit-stirrer I’ll be the one to ask the obvious… *speaking sincerely* but, Angelia, how do we, the innocent readers who are horrified by the fictitious attempts of authors to pull the wool over our eyes, know that Naomi actually exists and is not an elaborate co-author hoax??

  15. Erastes wrote,

    I have to come clean. You know I’m not a man, but it’s worse than that.

    I’m not even Greek.

    And I live in the 21st century and….

    (I don’t think I can say it.)

    I’VE NEVER BEEN TO THE 19TH CENTURY!!!!!

    *Breaks down*

    Oh God! I thought no-one would find out … *blubbers* and now I’m RUINED!

  16. Angelia Sparrow wrote,

    *sigh*
    On the internet nobody knows you’re a dog, right?

    The story of how a retail clerk from Toledo and a truck driver from Memphis came to write GLBT romance is, in itself, bizarre enough that it falls into the “Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.”

  17. Carolyn Jean wrote,

    This should clear things up:
    http://www.genderanalyzer.com/

    Teddypig: there is a 62% probability you are a man!! However, I’m only 52% likely a woman.

  18. TeddyPig wrote,

    I wonder if that 38% I am not seeing there is gay?

    Oh and doubleplusgood everyone!

  19. LBea wrote,

    We guess http://lisabea.blogspot.com is written by a woman (54%), however it’s quite gender neutral.

    OMG tpig. LMAO.

  20. Cat Grant wrote,

    GenderAnalyzer is 62% sure that my site: http://www.catgrant.com/ is written by a man.

    Must be that sock in my pants that gave me away.

  21. JenB wrote,

    Wow, it’s 71% sure that I’m female. I suppose no man could ever be that bitchy.

  22. Ally Blue wrote,

    allyblue.com is ALL WOMAN! 94% *g*
    My blog, however, is 61% male. Does that mean I have multiple personality disorder? Hmmmm….
    **strokes maybe-not-quite-so-imaginary beard**

  23. Barbara Sheridan wrote,

    O_o Apparently I’m 84% Male..And labor with my two girls was pretty easy. Imagine that.

    Together Anne Cain and I equal 70% female.

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