Men do that though we separate the sex we see from the underlying emotions so I am comfortable in saying even if two straight guys “do it” the sex act between them can reasonably be defined as Gay and I don’t feel I am putting myself down. Sex is just sex it does not disturb me to see it, to talk about it, or label my response to it for what it is.

Great discussion I stumbled on trying to find an eReader for Mobi on Mac.

It’s frustrating because bi can coincide with poly, but bisexuals can and often do practice lifelong or serial monogamy. I’ll confess that a poly relationship really appeals to me, and would, I think, be the most fulfilling type of relationship possible for me (assuming I found the right people, of course), but I can and have been happy in monogamous relationships and have never felt a need to go outside them because something was “missing”. In my case, poly would be more a cream on the cake thing.

As for female poly being in the erotica section, well, I need romance. I mean, I like erotica and will read it on occasion, but I do long to really connect and root for the protagonists and their HEA. I want the characters to be in love, no matter how many of them are in the mix. Of course, I like a lot of steamy sex along the way, too.

I’d personally apply the term f/f or even bi-oriented for the books that you suggested, and it wouldn’t disappoint me if there wasn’t much or any m/f sex in them. I don’t necessarily need to see sex or love relationships with both men and women to be happy. I do, however, like to see characters like me.

I like books where sexual fluidity is explored or at least appreciated, not frowned on or seen as a sign of promiscuity, or just…never addressed. And because of that, the majority of lesbian romance doesn’t appeal to me. That doesn’t mean I think the genre needs to change to suit me, either. Just that what it is isn’t what I want.

It’s a genre label like Western or Fantasy. If cowboys and horses and dungarees and heroes who say stuff like “Howdy there, little lady” just don’t do it for me, I’m not going to consider buying a Western. If I associate lesbian romance with tropes that don’t work for me (or actively annoy me), I’m not going to find either of those pirate books, because I won’t even be looking for them. If they were called f/f, I’d at least consider the possibility that they might not contain those common lesfic tropes, and take a chance on them.

So thanks for the rec. I can honestly say I’d never have bothered looking at them without it. :)

I wonder, are either of them labeled as bi-romances? It occurs to me that if the characters are bi and a fair amount of the sex is bi, and it would appeal to a bi woman (because everyone likes characters they can relate to), the lesbian label might be preventing a lot of readers who might like it from giving it a go…

And I’ll definitely try some Radclyffe if it’s free. I’m just so leery of paying small press prices for books if there’s a good chance it will be something I won’t love. :)

LOL. This is funny when you think of it. One of the most intriguing aspects of GBLT lifestyles is that they demonstrate just how fluid and varied sexuality can be. In a way, the concept of lesbian readers or gay readers wanting only gay/lesbian characters is not much different than het readers wanting only het characters.

It’s fun to “color outside the lines.”

I don’t hold to a traditional het power dynamic at all. I like for all the kinds of romances I read to be egalitarian in the sense that both protagonists have different strengths and weaknesses, and both give support to the other. I’m perfectly happy when characters are versatile or “switch” in a same-sex relationship. I also like stories in which each character has a more strictly defined role, if there’s a reasonable rationale for it and it works for them. I don’t enjoy het BDSM stories, but I like some gay BDSM romances — ones in which the characters negotiate well with their partners, use safewords and check on how the sub is doing. The authors I like show the caring the characters have for each other in those situations.

If I’m dating a guy, I’m really conflicted about seeming to claim “heterosexual privilege.” I certainly don’t feel heterosexual inside. Personally, I like androgynous guys and butch women, so either way I like the folks who aren’t really gender-conforming. But I want to work with them in a relationship, not have one person being in charge.

So…my two cents