If you have not noticed I have been over at this little kerfuffle on Dear Author explaining why I find that article suspect and I guess I should say something here about my point of view in that whole mess…
Sure, I have read tons of bad BDSM Romance stuff that frankly was probably flung out there to make a quick buck off the growing BDSM Romance trend going on in both M/M and M/F. BUT! I don’t go around putting it down to being “right” or “wrong” BDSM.
You want to know why?
Because I know there are all types of BDSM practices out there that are not my thing. A hell of a lot of those people in my BDSM Community are into things BDSM wise that I frankly think are pretty twisted and I have no interest in. One of my FAVORITE Lesbian Doms in San Francisco can sit for hours recounting her dungeon scenes of “non-con play” and “verbal degradation” she does to her subs because she is a badass fucker like that. NOT MY THING! I myself probably could recount to you scenes I did with John in public that would make you cringe and I loved each and every moment of it.
But… She and her subs have every right to explore “their thing” and write about “their thing” and share “their thing” to everyone who cares to listen and if one of them wrote a BDSM F/F Romantic Fiction about “their Fantasy” tomorrow I might not review that BDSM Romance here since I am not an expert on any of that but I would accept it as a F/F BDSM Romance because that is exactly what was written.
Then if some BDSM “Church Lady” ran around calling it NOT REAL BDSM Romance because it was not her “personal kink” I would lay into them like no tomorrow for what I consider to be the most basic requirement of respect for someone else in the BDSM Community. That is one of “my things” in that I don’t simply assume the writer has no interest or knowledge of BDSM or is not part of our community, but that’s just me.
So if anything be sure of what you are saying when you say “right” BDSM and “wrong” BDSM. Maybe you mean it’s not “your kink” and leave it at that.
Fact is Fact and Fiction is Fiction and we are talking about Fiction here, someone’s personal BDSM Fantasy. Claiming it is NOT BDSM by your personal standards might be insulting to that person who is into that scene. The first thing I was taught by my Dom concerning BDSM or any scene I witnessed in private or public was always to show respect first and foremost.
I am not saying you cannot say it was not “Your Thing”.
I said do not give me a lecture on “right” and “wrong” BDSM.