OMG. That is sooo SPOT-ON.

If they like it, they should read it. If they don’t like it, they should not read it, or write their own to reflect what they want to read.

They should NOT, however, be telling us how to do it if they aren’t willing to put up or shut up and do it themselves. Nice they can toss the slings and arrows at us, but they would prefer to sit safe in their gilded cages and not put themselves out there at risk.

And Teddy, you really hit a point for me too, in your comments with Ally, about an HIV+ character. Honestly, I’d never thought about writing one because I also didn’t think I could ever do them justice.

And as she also said, you only have yourself to blame if I start bugging you with questions too. LOL

Another point, the SSC argument, a lot of vanilla/kink-friendly writers who aren’t in the lifestyle seem to have little or no knowledge of RACK play. They all seem to work from the same basic Wikipedia page. LOL I’ve seen implements break, glass cupping cups get dropped, etc. And a lot of people who’ve played together for a while don’t use safewords because they know when there’s a problem they stop, they don’t need an elaborate system other than, “Hey, my foot’s falling asleep/cramping, fix it please.” LOL

It’s not going away, but I’d guess it’s maybe changing for a lot of women. Women are under more and more stress these days. The rape fantasies I had when I was a young SAHM with realistic burdens I could easily bear were much much different from the ones I have today, now that I’m juggling work and kids and have finally conceded defeat on the marriage front.

The place in my reptilian brain that generates those fantasies is no longer the one that wants to be so desired a man loses control and has his wicked way with me. Nope. Now it’s the place that sees myself struggling for everything, always compromising, often failing. No fantasy rapist ever spit on me and walked away when he was done when I was only a wife and mother. Now that I’m sole providor, mother, father and single, and unable to do a great job at any of it, well, my fantsies reflect those failures.

So no, the rape fantasy may not be going away, but the uncomplicated, sexually empowering rape fantasy of old is getting harder and harder for me to find in my repertoire at night.

I didn’t know if that was normal for folks who are mostly symptomless. Just “I have it. Now what.”

What do you do with the rest of your life? Live love and laugh. What else is there?

(and you know I’m teasing about the naked=eww part)

It’s not that much of a stretch medically or physically just the fact I do have something negative people could catch if I were irresponsible. That really is the only mind fuck you have to deal with… oh well along with the “you’re gonna die in 5 years!” holding pattern the ever so expert doctors had me in for years and years.

Heaven does not want me. Hell thinks I’m gonna take over… So what do I do with the rest of my life?

But I do not consider myself anything special not with watching so many friends and lovers die of AIDS.

Your post reminds me of two other posts, Teddy.
One my own
GWM, straight-acting atheist, seeks same for romance genre
and one on fandom
The Hummus Essay

I dislike the trend I’m seeing in all twenty-something straight-acting macho guys. Where are the drag queens? Where’s the man who wears his fairy wings on any even remotely appropriate social occasion? I like my fictional gay men to show the same variety that the real gay men in my life do.

I confess, I’ve used the “clean” talk. Because that’s how straights of my experience talk about all STDs. I’ve learned better and the next contemporaries will reflect that. I would hesitate to write an HIV+ character. I don’t know all the medical ins and outs of HIV+ life. I do know what it is to be have a medical lightening bolt dropped on me, to be told I’m in the early stages of a disease that could kill me if we don’t treat it. Maybe Alley and I should double team this one. 8)

In fiction, I like my BDSM safe sane and consensual or so extreme it can’t be done at home. Because there are a lot of idiots, including me, who will TRY shit they’ve only read about or seen in a movie.

The problem with going more sophisticated is the editors not getting it and the readers not getting. When a certain publishing house won’t even let a gay man self-reference as “queer” in his dialogue, you expect them to grok HIV+ characters?

Teddy, of course you’re one of the monsters. You’re over forty and still getting naked. Ewww. Don’t you know that’s just tacky? (says she who is almost 42)

I bring up so many different things when I do posts like this because I will sleep on a single sentence someone says in an email to me or a post I read and the next morning I come online here and dump it all out of my skull to stop the processing.

Doing that sometimes kicks people into oh yeah other topics and you know what that makes me think too. Then I sleep on it and we go around again.

My friends all know… Think of what I am saying as a writers buffet. Take what you want and go write something.

I am the very evil plot bunny.

Although I did play a really cool PS3 game called Bioshock recently and the kicker is the entire game and the way it plays out as far as storyline is based off her books and it is a intense game. Lots of moments where it was not pleasant or nice but you kept playing to see how much more evil it could get. Very startling game and really sophisticated take. I might review that game here it left a huge impression on me and yeah if you find Rand interesting get yourself a copy and try it out.

I think my real point is that writers should feel comfortable in exploring edges and especially here on the internet where edge is around every corner. My take on it is simply based on my BDSM experience and there is a huge audience that wants authors doing just that and not this New York Mainstream take on comfortable kink so not to disturb the Church Ladies.

In fact I think those Church Ladies are probably buying some pretty twisted stuff out there.

Anyway, expressing your opinion and saying “not your thing” in a review is very much OK but decreeing what is acceptable for a community or implying you know better than someone else is not to me. Questioning things is fine, demanding things not so much.

I do not mind discussing the controversial kinks because some of my bestest friends are twisted and so am I. There are simply more kinky people now on the internet and they have a market and a voice that needs to be listened to but lets not forget how very diverse the BDSM Community as a whole and it does not come with many labels.

I also think books like Mr. Benson or Leather Blues or a lot of the old BDSM classics will find a whole new audience online when they finally become available in eBook form since they won’t be stuck in the back corner on the Bad People Shelf.