The WSJ: Apple Scrambles to Secure iPad Deals
Since the iPad became available for pre-order last Friday, Apple has seen strong demand and sold hundreds of thousands of units, say people familiar with the matter. One of these people said Apple could sell more iPads in the first three months than it sold iPhones in the three months after the smart phone’s debut.
The Apple iPad SUCKS!
It does and you all know it does and you want to know why?
It does not have a single USB port. I mean heaven forbid a wireless device cannot be firmly wired into place with a USB plug.
It does not have a Blu-Ray drive. Never mind the fact you most likely do not have a Blu-Ray drive in the house either. It should have one.
It does not have a removable battery. Neither does your iPhone but that’s besides the point.
It does not have a front facing camera. Never mind this would just allow for more ugly nude shots of desperate fat trolls online.
It does not support 1080p. Your TV does not either so the iPad will just make you even more a techno loser by not providing it on it’s ten inch screen.
It does not have a built in keyboard. Who cares if you can buy an accessory with one. You guys just know you want to type upside down while hanging from your door frame with a real keyboard.
It does not have a “real” processor. Of course no other netbook has one either but that’s besides the point. You should be able to replace your desktop with an iPad no matter what they built it to actually do. How will Anne Cain do her Photoshop tricks if she cannot run every Adobe product in existence on her iPad?
It does not have a real OS. Is Android a real OS? I lost track somewhere back during the Windows Mobile introduction. Ballmer’s voice is like a stiff shot of NyQuil and it kills more brain cells.
It does not come with free unlimited 3G like the Kindle… Well, sorta. OK well it does not have kinda sorta free unlimited 3G with lot’s of fine print like the Kindle does.
Anyway, anyone who buys a first generation iPad will just be a Apple Fan and not a real geek who buys an HP Slate the first day they come out because it has Windows 7 and viruses and trojans and all the good stuff real geeks want to suffer with like the rest of the real geeks.
Anyone who reads Teleread already knows “no one” out there wants these iPad thingys. It’s all just hype and LCD screens. Eeeew LCD color screens will make you go blind! booga booga boo!
Tags: iPad
Moriah Jovan wrote,
OMG. The apocalypse is nigh.
I’m drooling over the MS Courier. *crossing fingers*
Link | March 18th, 2010 at 8:14 pm
kirsten saell wrote,
Um…are you being sarcastic? LOL
Link | March 18th, 2010 at 9:49 pm
TeddyPig wrote,
I am just beating Teleread to the punch here. This one article will probably ruin at least five of theirs with it’s sarcasm alone.
Link | March 19th, 2010 at 1:37 am
Jules Jones wrote,
What is this usb port of which you speak? (In other words, still not ditching the Palm IIIxe and Psion 5mx.)
While I’m one of the people clinging tightly to my eInk device for reading ebooks because it does not hurt my eyes thankyouverymuch, I really don’t get the hoopla over the iSanitaryTowel not having a built-in keyboard. As far as I can see, that is very much a feature, not a bug — if I want a laptop, I’ve already got one, and if I want a keyboard for my PDA, I’ve got one of those for the Palm that folds up into pocket size. The netbook form factor certainly has its uses and I’d buy one if I didn’t have the Psion, but were I to drop stupid amounts of money on the latest toy from Cupertino, it would be precisely because it is a PDA on steroids.
They’re right about it not having a proper OS, though. Everyone knows the One True OS is VMS.
Link | March 21st, 2010 at 11:49 am