Two well known writers whom shall remain nameless just sent me a cow’s hoof attached to a bottle. After Jason finished laughing he pointed out it sorta matches Herman my cow skull in the dining room. I really think that dead animal heads are the peak macho interior design experience. Although it clashes with my Japanese Anime wall art I started investing in after the recent Thundercats remake. It’s hard to live with the classics sometimes.
I can only assume that Pinnacle: Whipped Cream flavored vodka had something to do with this.
I am scared now. They are probably scouring the streets looking for more as we speak. Hemingway would be so proud since I think he did something like this, after drinking his way through most of Cuba, to a reviewer likewise. Wiki says it was a horses head but we know better since he was drinking rum. Call me when you get to Las Vegas and we will re-live the best parts of the Gonzo years without that trip through Barstow. God hates Barstow.
One toke? You poor fool! Wait till you see those goddamn bats. I am off to see the doctor today. They are testing the genetic origin of my disease. I told them it’s probably from the dirty sticky floor (For those counting that makes two highly appropriate Depeche Mode song references so far in this post, keep up please.) of that bar in New York City that I visited before getting shipped to Charleston SC Sub Base. That one time, no really just once was enough for both New York City and Charleston SC, the bartender ran out of Cactus Juice and I switched to Baileys and I was so fucking gone. The quality of flake I found on Christopher Street was nothing to write home about either but that’s another story. Not that mother would have really cared one way or the other just wear a heavy jacket dear and never reuse needles.
Anyway, the test should be more interesting than my recent cholesterol count which was rather high which annoys me. I wanted to die young and pretty from a massive heroine addiction like Janis, we have the same adams apple I swear, and I am obviously going to miss on both counts. DAMN! Responsibility and prudence in such matters turns out to be yet another crutch.
Tags: That's Not eBooks
LB Gregg wrote,
1) Who loves you, Porkchop? And always has?
2) I only had ONE Sangria.
3) Good luck today. No heroin overdoses. Just flirt a lot. That’s an order.
4) This is totally not eBooks.
LBea
Link | April 14th, 2011 at 8:01 am
TeddyPig wrote,
Oh by the way the bottle now has an authentic Swarovski Crystal wine stopper Jason’s mother gave us for Christmas.
And here you thought you were hard to buy for.
Link | April 14th, 2011 at 8:10 am
LB Gregg wrote,
James used the words ‘impressive spread’ a few times when describing that there gift item. I used the words “What. The. Fuck?”
Link | April 14th, 2011 at 8:15 am
BevQB wrote,
(o_O?
I don’t know which is more confoozling, TP, your post or LBea’s comments. Are you two twins separated at birth that have created your own sooper sekret language?
Link | April 15th, 2011 at 4:49 am
TeddyPig wrote,
It’s about a bottle attached to a cows hoof. A quick reference to Hemingway and Hunter S. Thompson ending with a discussion on genetics.
Oh and I include a warning about the evils of Pinnacle: Whipped Cream flavored vodka
Quite simple and straight forward for me actually.
Link | April 15th, 2011 at 5:29 am