Don Bastian ~ Chainmale 3SM
From: Daedalus Publishing
I feel very comfortable in calling Don a good experienced Leather Top because after reading this book it’s like I’ve spent a good solid three or so days inside Don Bastion’s head slowly reading through 112 pages of his most personal thoughts and experiences about Leather and S&M.
My master stood just out of he circle of light thrown by the candles. His arms were folded across his chest in satisfaction and excitement glittered in his eyes. He stepped forward into the light and slowly withdrew the needle, a steel ring in it’s hollowed end to replace it. The needle was gripped so firmly by the flesh it had penetrated that I was reminded of those early gladiator movies, where the victor would place his foot on the slain captive to remove his sword. Such seminaries were attributed to my now captive nipple. A trickle of blood flowed freely and, with a gloved hand, my Master traced red patterns across my chest. I started to float as the sweet, exquisite wave of pleasure rushed in, replacing that the searing throb.
Honest-to-God born-to-wear-Leather Tops fascinate me. It’s like watching someone with an overhead spotlight walk into a room. Part self-assurance, part self-knowledge, respect, honor, integrity, focus, etc. etc. and a little bravado and some vanity thrown in for good measure. If I were to attribute this nature to say some silly astrological sign it would be all Leo with all the various benefits and issues. They quite simply represent everything I love about Leather. Well, everything I was taught to love about Leather first and foremost.
Which brings me back here to Don Bastion’s book Chainmale. Now first off this is in no way a “How To” book this is more of a “How Come” written not in some structured (slide tab A into tab C to get B) but in a flowing stream of consciousness that covers a multitude of thoughts and opinions and feelings from someone very knowledgeable and highly experienced in Leather.
It’s honest and touching in the things that are talked about that for a very short read it was not quick nor easy for me to get through and several moments in the book echoed deeply with the things I have also learned and the experiences I have had. Not in any negative way but because there is so much personal information about Leather scattered through these words it can touch upon things nonchalantly that trigger an instant recognition. Stuff I can honestly say I have never seen written about before in any other book I have read on Leather and it’s practices. This is a one-of-a-kind back stage pass to a world that few see and even less get to share.
So does it swagger with self-assurance and such? Oh hell yes, and the book does so with a certain style that you will only see in a Leather Top. It also has things, certain words, certain descriptions that grate on my nerves, that contradict what I was taught and what I believe in… one example being Don’s description of himself and his beliefs with the term “Old Guard”. Oh jesus! That term is so damn loaded not just for those I consider might actually “rate” such a label but the fact it is so loaded with myth and misconceptions from those outside our closed community about even what it means. Too many times I have seen it is used by guys looking to pull a fast one on the inexperienced and gullible.
I wish he would have stayed well away from such a description because he does seem so very level headed and in most cases “dead on” in a lot of his other views on the subjects he discusses. So this is not a perfect book depending on what you are looking for but it rambles on about so many aspects involved in the Leather experience I can’t help telling people pick this up if you want to even begin to try and understand or at least listen to someone very knowledgable try and explain the Gay Leather experience to outsiders because there really is nothing else out there like this in print and frankly with so many of us gone from the older crowd I do not expect there ever will be.
I recall negotiating for an extended period of time with a bottom. I asked him to select a couple of items from the toy wall. I then suspended him in bondage, gathered up all the toys he had chosen and put them in a box. “Now then,” I said, “these are not the toys we will be playing with.” I received a look of absolute panic and excitement.
I had been able to discern from all the conversations that the items he had chosen were within his comfort zone. I had also determined, correctly, that this was not what he was after; what he had subconsciously asked for was an expansion of his limits, to conquer certain fears and to explore. At the same time, had I not been absolutely sure about his interest, the evening could have been disastrous. Many scenes have gone awry because of misinterpretation. For this reason, the ability to listen, as well as the ability to ask the right questions without tipping your hand are crucial to success.
Grade A. You can get this on your Kindle now!
A.B. Gayle wrote,
Teddy, I can’t agree with you more about this book. For ages I’ve been trying to visualise the whole scene through a Top’s perspective. Few writers try to do it from their POV and when they do, only some make it believable.
Like you, I had to read it in sections as there are so many great strands in his streams of consciousness that need to be contemplated before moving on to the next bit.
For starters this bit summed up a lot: “The fact that I actually cared about my bottom’s well-being and acknowledged it drew various negative responses from the audience. To some, I became ‘too-real’, meaning that my ability to ‘feel’ got in the way of their fantasy. Some wanted truly sadistic scenes in which the bottom viewed the Top as an uncaring power figure. A valid point too. These fantasies are needed by some and, I admit, there are times when I enjoy them also.
A “mean, tough, cream-puff” is a rough exterior with a marshmallow center and a great analogy of most Leatherfolk in my opinion. I have never met more passionate and caring people in my life.”
And this one: “There are times when the bottom just puts out and shuts-up, especially if Daddy is in the mood to mete out some long-remembered act of retribution. “Forgive but never forget” is my motto, and it comes in very handy.”
He tells a classic story about when he comes home and finds his boy curled up in bed instead of doing chores. He makes up an excuse for being there leaves without acknowledging he’s seen the boy and then lets him stew for days before he brings it up in a scene. A paragraph worthy of a short story in itself.
“Ah, sweet fate. I’ll let him squirm for a while. He’ll relax eventually. I’ll bet he tip toes around his duties and the conversation for a few days though. Besides, time is on my side and I never forget.”
There are so many pearls of wisdom that I garnered:
“The only risks worth taking are the ones with the largest unknowns. I would like to think that I deal in risk as a learning experience. The chance to further my knowledge about me.”
“I believe, in the large scheme of things, the bigger unknowns usually have the greatest rewards. … when was the last time you were driving somewhere and, out of the blue, you turned left instead of your usual route just to see what was on the way only to find it was a more interesting or varied road. “Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.”
“All too often, the limitations placed on play are the same barriers we subconsciously place on ourselves in everyday life.”
“Too many people like to hear themselves talk because it makes them feel important. Listening allows me to change my mind about a willingness, or unwillingness, to advance the conversation with someone to whom I am attracted.
There’s a lot of philosophy as well as psychology at play here.
Don’s writing is lyrical and although there is a lot of meat there, I found it very enjoyable to read, not dry at all.
I’ve always wondered whether a top was just a sadistic control freak, but Don made me see it was so much more.
In fact, I spend a lot of time trying to re-create some of my favorite fantasies and the physical rewards that accompanied them. That is like saying that there are no poor orgasms; there are good ones and there are great ones. Take some time for yourself; you have a lot to give someone. Remember I said watch the eyes? The eyes are the mirror to the soul and, if the eyes are dull, maybe the polish on the mirror could use some attention. If someone is unhappy with their life, the eyes are the first place to search for clues. So much is masked or hidden behind that thin veil of those eyes.
He (and a few writers who “get it”) made me see that it is as much about listening, watching and giving.
I’d love to recommend the book to my friends as an ebook, but I’m not even sure that Don is getting royalties from it. David Stein’s “Carried Away” is also published by Daedalus and he says he doesn’t see anything of their ebook royalties and we’ve been tracking that on Amazon for a few months and he’s been averaging 15 sales a month there without any return.
Link | August 25th, 2011 at 3:57 pm
TeddyPig wrote,
Well if Daedalus is ripping them off on eBook royalties then they are probably not concerned about getting them the print royalties either it would seem to me. I still have no clue how people can tell what they are selling on Amazon it is not like they tell you straight out on the fly unless you see an actual report on the sales.
Link | August 26th, 2011 at 5:56 am
A.B. Gayle wrote,
Anyone can track any book’s sales and initiate the tracking. You just need to go to the book’s page in Amazon and copy the URL up to the point where there is an identifying number and paste into the link here.
http://www.novelrank.com/
If someone (anyone) has done that already, then there will be an address of the tracking page, if not the tracking will be initiated.
Once done, this tracks sales from that point on.
I disregard the Book ranking, but use the alternate choice in the box above the graph and stipulate sales, choose the appropriate time I want to check and then hit update chart.
Here is the link for “Carried Away” that I initiated after emailing David Stein back in March and then let him know what I’d done, so I assume he’s been keeping an eye on it since.
It’s not that he doesn’t care, but I gather he’s not getting much help from stockroom.com who actually own Daedalus.
http://www.novelrank.com/asin/B0038BQY76
I find it both fascinating and disheartening comparing sales of my books with others. I mainly did it for David so he would know that there were sales coming in that he wasn’t seeing royalties from.
Link | August 26th, 2011 at 1:52 pm
A.B. Gayle wrote,
I just started one up for the Kindle edition of Chainmale. It will be interesting if it gets any hits in the upcoming months:
http://www.novelrank.com/asin/B003LPUBNC
The print versions are done separately. I didn’t bother with them, as I was only interested in the ebook versions. I have heard that third party people are known to scan in print books and offer the ebook version and then all the publishing links and money go back to them, so I was concerned that might be part of the Amazon Kindle swindle: http://blog.bookmarket.com/2010/05/amazon-kindle-swindle-authors-people.html but in this case, I think it’s the “disappearing down a deep hole and the amounts are so small that it’s not worth my time and effort to chase it up” swindle.
A book has to have sold at least 1 copy off Amazon for the process to work, but as I said only tracks sales from that point on and can become “inactive” if there aren’t any sales over a period. It can be reactivated then, however.
Link | August 26th, 2011 at 2:01 pm
TeddyPig wrote,
I do know about those ranking sites and such but also that they are not all that accurate. As you say any movement should mean sales but exactly how many is not so easy to prove unless you get the sales reports.
Link | August 26th, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Sunita wrote,
Thanks for this review, TeddyP, and for your comment over at VM. This looks great.
Link | August 28th, 2011 at 9:27 am
Generation aftercare « Pandora's Kinky box wrote,
[...] can’t stop me. I fly higher than you. (Link to the book’s review: http://www.teddypig.com/2011/08/don-bastian-chainmale-3sm/ ) Rate this: Share this:EmailStumbleUponDiggTwitterLike this:LikeBe the first to like this [...]
Link | October 16th, 2011 at 2:08 pm