Let’s knock this last part out quickly.

Graphics especially computer graphics are a nightmare for the technically deficient so I am just going to show you what my settings on PCSX2 are and suggest that if you do not have these options of they are slightly different on your machine… well “themz the breakz” but this should at least get you started down the road and these settings work fine for me so there is that.

First on your controller I use a Microsoft 360 Wireless Controller Adapter…

Microsoft 360 Wireless Controller Adapter

Microsoft 360 Wireless Controller Adapter

Now some of you purist out there might be like but I already got a Sony controller and I heard blah blah blah. Listen, I do not care. This thing is cheap to get ahold of and it works on pretty much ANY Windows computer and that frankly is all I am interested in at the moment.

Make sure your Microsoft 360 controller is on and linked to the Microsoft usb wireless adapter properly.

Go to your PCSX2 start screen and lets start configuring this sucker…

PCSX2

At the top of the page is the tab Config then select Controllers(PAD) and then select Plugin Settings.

PCSX2 Config Controller Plugin Main

Select only the settings found here and hit refresh on the bottom box labeled Device Diagnostics. You should be seeing DX Controller (XBox 360 Wireless blah blah blah) listed in that box.

Next go to the Pad 1 Tab at the top there.

Config Controller Plugin PAD 1 Tab

Clear any existing settings and then hit each button on the screen and then hit the corresponding button on the XBox Controller. Each individual setting should show up as you go through them all.

Once you are done there the controller should now work with your games.

Now go back to your PCSX2 start screen and select Config, Video (GS), and then Window Settings

Config Video GS Window Tab Settings

After making sure those settings match go select the Speedhacks tab and follow this screen.

Config Video GS Window Speedhacks Tab Settings

OK and now the last settings. Go back to the PCSX2 start screen. Select Config and Video (GS) and then Plugin Settings. Just change to the ones I show here.

Config Video GS Plugin Settings

DONE! Yeah! OK… if you run into any problems I recommend you make friends on the PCSX2 Forums but most importantly have fun. Long live the Sony Playstation 2.

Sony Playstation 2

PCSX2

Today folks I am going to teach you about emulation of the Sony Playstation 2 on your trusty computer. That’s right! The pig is blowing the lid off this fiddle dee dee techy talk that loses and confuses so many people simply trying to play their old but much loved Sony Playstation 2 games.

You are probably like me in that I own a Sony Playstation 3 and a Sony Playstation 4 but I have still yet to see many of the classic and unique Playstation 2 games make it to these new updated platforms. So lets not wait around for them to sell us HD remakes. Let’s make them ourselves!

Please note I am not telling you in any way to torrent iso disk images or use other people’s BIOS files. The safest thing to do is own these products yourself plus the fact is most of this stuff is on EBay and very very cheap. So do yourself a huge favor and stay away from the torrents. Collect the old game systems and game disks and give them love.

In fact following along with this little tutorial here will get those same old Playstation 2 games not only playing on your gaming computer but with bright shiny new upgraded graphics too! How’s them apples?

So lets start the basic problem of getting a PCSX2 emulator working on your computer with a list of all the things you will need to track down on Amazon and around the web.

Purchase List

Nero Burning ROM (Much like Microsoft Office I always recommend having a copy around for such occasions.)
Swap Magic 3 (From G Dreamer on Amazon. You want the DVD labeled disk from this two disk set.)

Swap Magic Version 3.8 PS2

Any cheap 1 – 4 gig usb flash drive (The scripts and OS use old drivers so no huge gig drives please)
Your ancient Sony Playstation 2 (fat or slim)
Your old Playstation 2 Games collection

Download List

The latest version of PCSX2
PCSX2 BIOS Dumper version 2.0
PCSX2 Widescreen Game Patches

OK first things first you need the BIOS from your old PS2.

Format the 1-4 gig USB flash drive fat32
Create a folder on root called SWAPMAGIC
Under the SWAPMAGIC folder place the PS2DUMPER.ELF file from the PCSX2 BIOS Dumper package
Just the PS2DUMPER.ELF file is all you need
Now rename the PS2DUMPER.ELF file to SWAPMAGIC.ELF

1. Take the Swap Magic disk labeled DVD and put it in your hooked up old Sony Playstation2.
2. Insert the USB flash drive you just created with the files you need.
3. Turn on the Sony Playstation 2. You should see the Swap Magic load then suddenly a screen filled terminal window with lots of numbers showing the BIOS being copied.
4. When it says DONE at the bottom of the screen turn the Sony Playstation 2 off and remove the Swapmagic DVD and the flash drive.

Install PCSX2 on your computer and get ready for the next series of steps.

Burn an ISO image of one of your old Playstation 2 games.
1. Place the Playstation 2 game in your computer and close any popups that show up.
2. Start Nero and select Nero Express
3. Select Image, Project, Copy
4. Select Copy DIsc
5. Select the DVD drive as Source Drive
6. Select Image Recorder as your destination
7. Click the Copy button at the bottom
8. Wait a second a popup window should come up and ask you where you want the file
9. Select the folder, type the name, and change the default nrg file format to iso

On your flash drive you should see the ELF file and a dat file but you need the five files it created with the ending of ROM0 ROM1 NVM DIFF INF with some huge serial number at the beginning. Now you need to rename these. Delete the . and stick it on the end with the file format BIN so your original file SCPH-XXXXXXXXX.ROM0 needs to look like SCPH-XXXXXX-ROM0.BIN or SCPH-XXXXXX-ROM1.BIN

Stick those files in your install of PCSX2 under a new folder labeled BIOS.
Stick the iso file you created using Nero Burning ROM in another folder you created called GAMES
Stick Widescreen Game Patches archive (All those pnach files) under the Cheats folder while you are there.
Remember all the files need to be in the folders I have named not in sub folders under them. It’s messy and disorganized but it works this way.

So now we have the BIOS files in there and the game iso file and the PCSX2 emulator

When you start PCSX2 it will show you this screen just select what I have here…

Config Plugin BIOS Selector

The next screen will want you to point it at the BIOS folder.

Config Plugin BIOS Selector Screen 2

To test and see if all this crap works go to the CDVD tab and select iso and browse for the GAMES folder you created. Then select the iso file.
Next go to the first tab System and boot the iso file.

You should see something like this…

Zone Of The Enders

OK that should have got you up and running at least. The next post I will go over my graphics settings in detail to steer you towards upgraded graphics nirvana.

The Sony Playstation 2 is dead. Long live the Sony Playstation 2! Let’s emulate it and make it even better.

Microsoft XBone

Pixelated: Xbox One’s 720p problem is the biggest deal-breaker yet

The big story on the internet this week is watching the Microsoft XBone and it’s numerous fanboys falling flat on their collective face yet again.

Seems several of the biggest starting titles for the Microsoft XBone and Sony Playstation 4 namely… Call Of Duty: Ghosts and Battlefield 4 are showing up on the brand new platforms in very different conditions. The Playstation 4 is getting 900 pixels out of Battlefield 4 versus Microsoft XBone getting a measly 720 pixels (Much like your old DVD player!). The Playstation 4 is getting 1080 pixels from Call Of Duty: Ghosts (Much like your new Blu Ray player!) while the Microsoft XBone is getting yet another big retail game at 720 pixels Hmmmmm.

What does this talk of pixels mean to you??? Well, seems the vaporware gurus making the Microsoft XBone for a whole $500 smackers are hell bent in selling you lots of last years jagged lines while the $400 Sony Playstation 4 is obviously kicking it’s ass graphically in the first two big name games out of the retail box.

That’s all well and good but the facts are not in the pixels really they are in the easy to understand specs since what we are discussing here are simply similar reengineered computer systems. The more expensive system by about $100 with the more complicated explanations about some mystical, magical, unicorns and rainbows, “THE CLOUD” and how “THE CLOUD” would fix any of it’s lower hardware specs or flat out poor decision making from the line of managerial failures now collectively looking for a handy exit strategy and will not be getting that magical helping hand in Cloud of Dukee or Battlecloud 4.

Microsoft is soundly getting fucked over by it’s own promises of vaporware that has not appeared and probably never will.

We see plainly that hardware specs cannot be fixed by vague promises and narrative band-aids. So save yourself $100 and buy the cheaper more stable Sony platform. In all honesty I will be getting a Sony Playstation 4 for my console of choice but you know who is getting my console of the year award?

Ninetendo 3DS XL(Look! They made a gold one!)… The reason is the 3DS XL has more games I want to play. Pokemon X & Y are superb and next month we get The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds and you can always go back and visit Animal Crossing: New Leaf. The secret of Nintendo is simple really when Nintendo makes a gold Zelda version of any console you know what their real money maker is.

So fuck the Wii U and the XBone and the vague promises of corporate bozos and stick with the consoles that show some real promise or at least better god damned specs because this shit does not get better by adding more code at some later date or in Microsoft’s case, more exclusives.

PS… My thoughts this week are with Adam Sessler and Jim Sterling who seem to be having issues of their own.

Pokemon X & Y

Pokemon X & Y

Hello out there!

Anyone home?

I just had to drop a line to you guys who still might be reading to let you know that Nintendo finally did something amazing. They got me to buy not one but two 3DS XL and 2 versions of this here Pokemon X & Y.

One for me and one for Jason so we can trade Pokemon.

Not to mention the game is freaking me out being so good.

If you ever played any Pokemonz back in the old Gameboy days this thing will blow your mind with digital pizazz and down right awesome sauce to play a brand new Pokemon game. So colorful and the animations are so cool and the Pokemon are cute and…

Nintendo actually followed through after all these years and gave us the Pokemon we all wanted when we were kids. Just do not buy a WiiU or anything stupid like that and hey if you want to save a buck get a Nintendo 2DS. My old eyes need the bigger 3DS screen but those 2DS are a pretty solid purchase there.

So um, yeah… does that make you cry over what has happened to gaming lately or what? I am proclaiming a rinky dink plastic coated handheld as if it were the hottest thing on the market right now which it actually is. A god damned Pokemon game on a proprietary 3DS is the best damn thing I have played all freaking year!

Oh and do not go looking for a 3DS emulator or any Pokemon X & Y roms out there because there are none and Nintendo wants to keep it that way. Stay safe and do not download any viruses or trojans doing stupid shit like that.

I am seriously considering playing it over again just to extend the fun I have been having with it. I wantz all the Pokemon!

Anyway, good to chat for a while. Hope everything is fine with you guys.

Joe Gage Trilogy

Looks like someone is finally putting the unmangled porn trilogy out for those of you who want to see probably the most well known gay porn series from the 70s… here is your chance to get the good stuff close to perfect as possible.

The Joe Gage Trilogy: Remastered

Mars: War Logs

Mars: War Logs

Mars: War Logs a small time scifi RPG game that showed up out of nowhere this week (April 26th) on Steam supposedly from France and we are told it will soon be available for download on the Playstation Network and XBox.

So a quick summary…
Controls are primitive and a bit clunky.
Combat is again a bit clunky and sometimes a little difficult due to even more controller motion freeze ups.
Voice acting and lip synch and all general character directions and interactions frankly suck.
What you might call “the story” tends to be a bit of a scifi “by the numbers” deal.
Graphics in this game are not going to be something to write home about.
The very slow load times are down right painful.

You might think that I absolutely hate this thing but that is not the case at all. If you liked Fallout3 and maybe some of what Rage did and maybe some of what Mad Max was all about then dive right on in the water is fine. Hey, it’s filling a need I currently have for a new Fallout game without any signs of when that might come out.

But! I am in no way saying this game is ever “that good” mind you. It’s a catchy tune but it’s not very memorable.

See, the deal is this is not some triple AAA game being sold at full price. It’s a whole $20, one and done, and a digital download away, or hell, even less from what people have said in the forums. So in the end I think you might be pretty happy with what you get here is all I am saying. Instant gratification for a generic bit of scifi RPG fluff with a few obvious flaws is a pretty good deal. If there is something we need “more of” right now in gaming in general is some of these cheap mid-level non-”ground breaking” good times and less of those big budget zombie filled duds that seem to have publishers flailing around all delusional wtf right now.

So loosey goosey cyber punky post apocalyptical insanity with lots of easily obtainable leather biker outfits and baseball bats… No, this game is not remotely smooth, and no, the story is not well structured, and yes, the whole thing reminds me of a high school Bladerunner play being put on by some local teenage jocks who probably programmed this game in flash during shop class.

No matter, I am having fun and feel like I got my moneys worth out of it… your mileage may very.

Grade C

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