Amanda Young: Taboo Desires

September 1, 2007

Taboo Desires by Amanda Young
From: Samhain

The downstairs lights blinked on, illuminating the stairwell and the foyer where he was still kneeling in front of Eric. Cole blinked, his eyes trying to adjust to the sudden change. “What the fuck?” Eric gasped and hastily stuffed himself back into his jeans. “Who is—?”
A loud gasp sounded from below, right before he heard a shrill female voice scream, “Oh my God!”

He knew that voice. Cole turned, his movements slow as molasses, and saw Karen standing at the bottom of the landing, her eyes wide and a splayed hand covering the lower half of her face.

“Shit!” Cole scrambled to his feet.
Karen dropped her hand, her expression twisting from hurt to pissed off in the blink of an eye. “You bastard. How long have you been fucking him behind my back? No wonder you didn’t want to get married.”
“Karen, wait.”

She shook her head, her long blonde hair whipping from side to side, and hurried away in the opposite direction. Cole started after her, only to be pulled up short by Eric’s voice.
“Cole, what the hell is going on? Who is that woman?”

He looked back over his shoulder, his gaze connecting with Eric’s guileless blue eyes, while his head filled with white noise. There was no fast and easy answer for that, so he said the only thing that came to mind, “That’s Karen,” before dashing down the stairs after her.

* * *

Long after Cole disappeared downstairs and the loud crack of the back door slamming echoed up to him, Eric remained immobile. Cole’s parting words replayed again and again inside his head. That’s Karen. As if that was supposed to explain everything?

Anger, hot and heavy, pulled him from his catatonic state. Who the hell did Cole think he was, bringing Eric home with him, sucking his brains out through his cock, despite the fact that he had a girlfriend? Or was it fiancée? Hadn’t she said something about a wedding?

Jesus. He sure knew how to pick men, didn’t he? Unfortunately, this time around, he had no one to blame but himself. Cole had all the classic signs of someone locked in the closet, Eric just hadn’t wanted to recognize them for what they were. He was a fucking idiot.

Eric leaned forward and flipped up the light switch. A bulb winked on overhead, illuminating the area around him, and cast dim fingers of light into the two adjoining rooms to either side.

To his left sat a small kitchen. He could only just make out part of the fridge and the corner of a waist-high counter from where he stood. He didn’t care to see more of the kitchen, so he turned toward the room to his right. There he found an equally tiny living room, barely large enough to hold the matching black leather love seat and recliner, and a small black lacquered entertainment center.

Well, he had two choices. He could go into the living room and have a seat, or he could leave. Eric glanced at the door, still standing open, and considered leaving before Cole returned. He didn’t know of any way out of the building except the one he’d been shown on the way in, where the happy couple were undoubtedly fighting right that very minute, so he chose to sit and wait. Facing Cole seemed like the lesser of two evils. Besides, running away also smacked of cowardice and he wasn’t a damn coward. He faced his problems head on and this time would be no different. He would stay, listen to whatever lame excuse Cole came up
with, and then calmly tell him exactly what he could do with his wandering cock, specifically that he could shove it up his own ass and rotate on it until Hell froze over.

As much as he would’ve liked to give Cole the benefit of the doubt, the evidence was not leaning in his favor. Even if Cole hadn’t been using him for some kind of bi-curious experiment, he was still a cheater and, as far as Eric was concerned, a slimeball. Without his knowledge or consent, Cole had made him into the other woman…man, whatever. That pissed him off. He was not going to be someone’s dirty little secret.

Cole Winchester’s girlfriend Karen kicks his ass out of the house finally after two years of him leading her on in a loveless relationship. All those years she has invested in them becoming a couple are a lie just to hide the fact the man is a fucking fag. So two weeks after this event Cole still has not confessed to her and officially ended their relationship he hooks up with poor Eric the Gay guy of his dreams. When they stumble in the door getting all ready to get hot and nasty the excerpt above takes place.

Run Eric! Run the fuck away! It’s not cowardice. You do not need this drama.
Here’s a little Gay Man 101 for you. Men found to be living in “a closet” by mature Gay Men are not considered “a great catch”. One night stands sure but real relationship material. HELL NO!

Charles Pierce once said “It’s better to be black than gay because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.”

The point being that coming out and admitting to yourself and others is a walk through a field of land mines and requires survival tactics that have to be learned. From your own family, to the place you work, to the relationship you have with another man, it takes years to find the experience necessary to handle just this one piece of your life. I tend to call this process “Gay Years”.

The basic concept is the lower the “Gay Years” the higher the chance a relationship with this man will fail thus the greater need for discussion, for finding out how emotionally stable and strong and trustworthy this person is. In other words the same amount of caution as say a 40 year old would have falling for a 20 year old. Sweet idea but the reality can be a bitch.

The other part of the story is that when you first come out Gay it is like a kid in a candy store and everyone needs time to try all the flavors and types available. Sex, drugs, booze and sex and sex… and well you get the idea. Every one needs the time to grow up and find what they want in life as a gay man even if the person comes out at age 40 you still treat them like the teenagers they will become shortly and wait for them to catch on.

There are couples I have met where the guys were sexually involved while one of them was married or considered himself bisexual. The maturity in that case is obviously questionable because then one of them had to be lying to himself or others while he was living this other life right? Even when I do not talk about BDSM I am all about the trust.

So what did I think when Amanda Young wrote this about Cole’s thoughts in regards to something our experienced Gay guy Eric says close to the end of her story?

The wealth of meaning behind his words rang out loud and clear. It was too soon to make declarations of love, for either of them, but Eric’s words told him he was cared for all the same.

Unlikely! Just wait till Eric walks out that door never to return after getting his piece of ass for all that emotional bullshit you put him through last night. You got played!

Grade F for failed the reality check.