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Tags: BDSM Romance, Gay, Liquid Silver, Shayla Kersten

Joey W. Hill: Rough Canvas

Rough Canvas ~ Nature of Desire Book 6 by Joey W. Hill
From: Ellora’s Cave

When he logged on, the cell phone rang on the counter, startling him in the quiet of the early morning hour. Wiping the sweat off his face with one arm, he hobbled to the phone. He shouldn’t answer it. But it was the first time Marcus had called at this time. During the day, there was the pretense that Thomas was doing something else. Working, with family, whatever. To ignore it now would be like ignoring him if he stood right in front of him, and the bastard probably knew it. Plus he wanted to hear his voice. Why’d he delete that message? Marcus wasn’t calling as much anymore, and Thomas didn’t think it was because of the email option. It was as if he realized the power of sensory deprivation. Duh. Who better than a Master knew the power of turning Thomas’ own defense mechanism against him?

Opening the cell, he noticed it had a full battery. Crap. No excuse there. If he mimicked low battery beeping noises, Marcus would see through that pathetic attempt and laugh at him. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” The first notes of his voice, God, the first syllables, made need coil hard in Thomas’ stomach, twisting the pain. Thomas leaned over again, tried to breathe. Sought something to say. “I just finished the last one.”

“Just now.”

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

“You’ve got that dazed sound to your voice like you’re coming out of a month of solitary. How’s it look?”

Thomas turned, his gaze sweeping over them, resting on that largest canvas specifically. “I don’t know. It’s different from the others.” Son of a bitch. He slid down the side of the counter, pressed his hand to his abdomen. Quit. He didn’t want to talk. He wanted to hear Marcus talk, let that voice pull him out of the place the painting had taken him, into a place somewhere in between it and here. “Don’t know if you’ll like it. If it’ll sell like the others. Don’t know…” Don’t know anything. But talk. For the love of God, talk.

“Unfortunately, selling and liking are two different things, because most of the buying public wouldn’t know talent if it bit them in the ass. It’s my job to educate them, Thomas.”

Thomas leaned his head against the cabinet, closed his eyes. “You know, it’s funny you’ve never called me anything but that. Most people assume I’m a Tommy, Tom.” Thomas covered the mouthpiece, coughed into a used rag and noticed without much interest he was coughing up flecks of blood again.

“When did you have a full night’s sleep last?”

“You nursemaiding me? Girl.”

“Yeah, fuck off. When, Thomas?”

Thomas rubbed his forehead, scanned the counter for his antacids, realized he’d taken the last of them an hour ago. “Last night.”

There was a pause on the other end, significant enough that Thomas had to squelch the urge to fill in the pause with some type of verbal squirming.
“You want to really piss me off, you lie to me one more time.”

Thomas licked the residual powder off the antacid paper. “Then don’t ask questions you already know the answer to. Jesus.” His eyes watering, he gripped the phone harder. “I don’t want to fight about this, okay? I’ve been staying up late to get the paintings done. It’s what I wanted to do. I can’t…talk…”

“Thomas.” Marcus’ voice came through sharp and hard. “You’re having one of those attacks again, aren’t you?”

“It’s okay, they happen. Marcus, I’ve got to go…”

“Lie down on your side, right now. If you’re not going to let a doctor help you, you listen to me. Or I get off the phone and call 911 to send an ambulance to your house.”

Alarm shot through him, increasing the fiery sensation. Thomas went to the floor, cursing and muttering, but doing it.

“Now take your hand, lay it over where it hurts. Don’t press. Just lay it there.”

Thomas complied, holding onto Marcus’ voice, fairly sure this wasn’t going to work, the pain too intense, but he knew Marcus would do what he said. Also, just holding onto his voice, fulfilling his instruction, was what he wanted above everything else. Just talk… It would pass. It always did. He’d had to have that extra strip of bacon this morning, like an idiot. He was hungry and he’d needed the coffee to wake up.

“Have you done it?”

“Yeah. Yes. I’m not a child.”

“You’re acting like one. Shut up and listen. It’s my hand there. Just move it, easy, slow circles. I’m sitting right behind you, leaning over you. I’ve got one hand on your head, stroking your hair. You feel my fingers there?”

Thomas closed his eyes. Remembered them, felt them. “The way you do when I sleep, but I’m not all the way under.”

‘That’s right.” Another pause. “I’m going to talk to you, and while I do, I’m going to keep stroking your head and rubbing your stomach in slow circles.”

He could feel it. Honest to God. And it was making it easier to breathe. Maybe it felt so real because he wanted it so much. Marcus’ fingers. Strong, long fingers, no scars or blemishes.

“How’s your face looking?”

“Sshh… Obey your Master. Be still and let me touch you. I just want to take care of you, pet. Just want you to let me take care of you.”

“But…who takes care of you?” There was a silence on the other end, but it was full of so many things it almost felt like Marcus was there, right behind him, his body close, curled up spooning with Thomas like that very first night, and many nights thereafter. “I mean, other than the million guys who’d be willing to hold your hair out of your face when you throw up for the chance to sleep with you?”

“One more comment about my hair and I will get a crew cut.” A pause. “You take care of me, pet. Just by breathing and existing, you take care of me in ways you can’t imagine.”

“You say things like that just to mess me up,” Thomas said. “Mess with my head. I love your hair. Don’t cut it.”

“Making demands?”

“Why not? You going to come punish me?”

“I might. Do you miss having your ass strapped by your Master? Serving me with your mouth?”

Something stirred other than the pain. You know I do. Thomas couldn’t say it aloud, but knew he didn’t need to do so. It was a part of the whole empty need in his burning gut that wanted Marcus.

“What are you wearing?”
It brought Thomas up short, it was so cliché. It should have called for a quip or a chuckle, but not when Marcus’ voice was sending frissons of energy down Thomas’ spine with that note of don’t-refuse-me-or-I’ll-fuck-you-up command. “I’m kidding,” Marcus said before he could respond. “I don’t give a shit. Take it all off. Now.”

Oh my, I know this review might upset a few people but I am gonna be honest here.

I think Joey W. Hill is a great writer. Not just good, but probably one of the best writers today writing about BDSM. Nobody has the clarity and focus when describing the relationship dynamics between a Top/Dom and a bottom/slave in a BDSM scene than she has. John Preston could only wish he had her understanding.

My problems come from when she steps outside of the dungeon and starts describing the characters and their motivations and their backgrounds. I have to admit it just does not ring true to my ear. Which is probably because I sat in the third row at several Skinny Puppy concerts.

Anyway, our heroes are Marcus, who is this very successful New York art gallery owner and art promoter and Thomas a highly talented artist discovered by Marcus’ and also his lover. Marcus is the BDSM Dom and Thomas is his slave.

Thomas has a run of bad luck with his father in North Carolina dieing and then his little brother getting into a tractor accident and unable to walk so he rips his “collar” off and runs back home to North Carolina to take care of his family. Marcus eventually gets around to visiting Thomas in order to find out what happened and why Thomas left him without saying goodbye. Marcus then proceeds to get Thomas to start painting again and spend a week with him in a remote cabin so they can work things out between them.

About Thomas’ “collar”… A gold waist chain? Huh? Collars are not fashion accessories, they are traditional symbols used to express and communicate clearly ownership and position in a BDSM social setting. Who is gonna see a stupid gold waist chain? What does a gold waist chain clearly communicate to anyone? Nada! Zilch! Collars in this case are symbolic like a wedding ring but only in the fact you are using a commonly agreed upon object that is worn to express ownership. You see it on some bottom/slave’s neck and you can then note that the person belongs to someone who you should be talking to first and seeking permission from before interacting with the bottom foremost. That is if you know what Leather Protocol is.

Initially this story seemed OK. Maybe a little soapy with the continual “will they / won’t they” get back together cycling that takes place over and over again. One minute they are divulging their deep seated feelings for each other and the next they are arguing and denying there is anything they can do to change what has happened. Wash, Rinse, Repeat.

My problems really started when Thomas is experiencing all these panic attacks and gastronomical pains from a growing ulcer. Marcus knows this is occurring and the reasons for it, but there is never a moment where he draws the line with Thomas and says “You are going to see a doctor now.” At no time does he put his foot down as Thomas’ owner (Which is what he says he is.) about this in a way that showed he cared for Thomas and he would not let the man continue to ruin his health with denial. In fact Marcus seems to do the exact opposite and feeds this denial and simply does not make it an issue until the very end and then only to Thomas’ mother, of all people, which just seemed irresponsible to me.

The biggest WTF moment in this whole book comes from the scene above where Thomas is lying on the floor writhing in pain, clutching his stomach, and then suddenly Marcus calls on the cell and phone sex breaks out. I am sorry, but the last thing I can think of when in real medically induced pain is to have sex. No way! Medically induced pain is totally different than say the pain of being flogged. The mindsets are night and day and I have never been able to switch those gears.

Denial seems to be Thomas’ main theme in the story and he goes so far as to tell Marcus he is considering marrying this girl his very Catholic mother wants him to hook up with. Wow, how long has Thomas been “not gay” and in denial? What is with all this denial when supposedly he has been running around New York with Marcus as his Top this whole time? Has he never sat down and reflected that there was no going back on this and he is queer, he is gay, he is a great big fucking cock sucker? I mean the guy is submitting to Marcus as a BDSM bottom but Marcus, his concerned attentive Top, never forces him to come to terms with any of it? Come on, Thomas has to have thought this part of the attraction through… at least as far as admitting he is gay by now.

Marcus is portrayed in the story as this highly regarded Dom/Top in the BDSM community. Marcus has never allowed a bottom/slave to become attached to him. How does this work? I mean from my own experiences in BDSM is it is all about the length of experience and the reputation that comes from being in a couple Top/bottom or Master/slave. Reputation for a bottom/slave stems from who his Top is, who trained him, for how long, or at least it did for me. The reputation for a Top comes from his track record in regards to how well he has trained and worked with bottoms/slaves. So how does Marcus get this high regard in the BDSM community if he never allowed anyone close? You can not get this type of respect based on your good looks and your distant pained expressions. BDSM is not about shallow posers or how well you can throw a dinner party.

The final blow came from Marcus yet again. At the very end of the story he purposefully puts himself in a position to be attacked and killed in some really dangerous area of New York all because Thomas left to go straighten things out with his family, but only after Thomas had promised Marcus he would be back. Instead of showing restraint and discipline (Something a Top should be familiar with.) Marcus suddenly throws this hissy fit and decides to off himself if he can not have Thomas as his lover. He even talks to Thomas on the phone while doing this. Marcus’ threat is apparent and obvious to Thomas and the reader.

I guess this was supposed to be the final big drama. Instead it just killed this couple for me. How can we have a viable HEA when the core relationship is this sort of unstable emotionally blackmailed codependency? Marcus just became this selfish, suicidal, fucked up immature brat that I would have walked away from after letting him know he needed serious professional counseling ASAP.

Till death do us part should never be a threat used to get your way or used to get the other persons love or attention.

Teddypig Rule #1: Suicide threats made by the Hero or Heroine or Significant Other in any romance and I mean ANY ROMANCE! in regards to the direction of the relationship involved, are as wrong as out right physical abuse preformed in anger by either party. No amount of fancy writing can justify it, the character will not be able to apologize for it, the story is never gonna pass go nor can it ever hope to collect my $200, there is no miracle of redemption that will work for me, none! nada! zilch! not even in your wildest dreams. Time to announce the loser baby and hang up the phone on some serious relationship poison. So long, Farewell!

I had a tough time with this book since Joey W. Hill is such a good writer but even her worst misstep is better than most writer’s best foot forward so Rough Canvas still gets a Grade C.

I am so not recommending it.

Tags: BDSM Romance, Ellora's Cave, Gay, Grade C, Joey W. Hill

What I Am Reading ~ Joey W. Hill: Rough Canvas

Rough Canvas ~ Nature of Desire Book 6 by Joey W. Hill
From: Ellora’s Cave

When his father dies, Thomas is forced to abandon a burgeoning art career in New York. As difficult as it was to give up his lifelong dream, it’s nothing next to walking away from the man he loves. Marcus taught him to embrace who he is, a sexual submissive who responds to the touch of only one Master. But why would the sophisticated Marcus need some farm kid from the South?

Then Marcus shows up and offers him a way to continue his art career and help his family. There’s only one hitch — he asks Thomas to spend a week with him in the Berkshires. Thomas knows he should refuse. But he’s never been able to say no to his Master.

Tags: BDSM Romance, Ellora's Cave, Gay, Joey W. Hill

Shayla Kersten: Thirty Days

Thirty Days by Shayla Kersten
From: Liquid Silver Books

A warm hand surrounded his cock. Long lazy strokes pulled Biton from sleep. Morning light showed through the curtains. Fast breathing shook the body plastered
against him whether from fear or desire, he didn’t know.
“Cavan?”
“Yes, Master.” A tremor of fear tinged the quiet response.
“You feel good.” He tightened his arm around the slender body. “Really good.” Biton wanted to roll Cavan over and plow his body until waves of pleasure washed through him. But the decision made last night stopped him. “Cavan, why are you stroking me?”
“I should stop?” Confusion colored his voice.
Biton wasn’t sure where to start and the pleasure of Cavan’s strokes fusing his synapses wasn’t helping. Start with the basics. “Do you enjoy being with a man?”
“I… I do with you.” The warm hand faltered.
Biton slid his hand under the cover and wrapped around Cavan’s. “I haven’t always known I was gay.” He held tight, stilling the sensuous motions. “Until I was twenty-two, I tried to convince myself I wanted women, until my first male lover. The revelation was almost more mind blowing than the sex.” Biton shivered at the memory. “It wasn’t sweet and tender, it was hard and rough and I couldn’t get enough. The relationship didn’t last long, but I knew a woman would never satisfy me the way a man did. Before we parted ways, I had discovered my need to control my partner and the desire for that partner to be a man. But both were my choice.”
Sliding his fingers around Cavan’s wrist, he pulled the man’s hand away from his cock. Rolling toward him, Biton caressed the stubble roughened face. “You never had the chance to make that choice. How can you know if what you feel for me is desire or gratitude for giving you a safe place to stay? Or is it a sense of obedience because you’ve never known another way of life?”
“I want you. I want to stay with you.” Panic made Cavan’s voice tight and his eyes wild.
“Why?” Biton whispered. “If you had the chance to leave here, a place to live without obligation to anyone but yourself, would you take it?”
“I…” A half-choked sob swallowed the rest of his words.
“I’m not saying you have to leave. If you stay, it should be because you want this life and not because you have no choice.” Biton ran his thumb across the trembling bottom lip. He leaned and brushed a kiss against the sorrowful line of Cavan’s mouth. “You have to tell me what you want.”
Cavan’s neck strained forward, chasing Biton’s mouth until he caught it. “Please…” he mumbled against Biton’s lips.
Biton melted into a gentle kiss. He ached with need, but his desire had to be tempered. And the feeling of tenderness had to be quelled before it became something deeper. If Cavan didn’t accept the life of a submissive willingly, Biton would lose him. The idea made his breath catch in his throat. As the tempting lips pressed against his
opened mouth, Biton couldn’t stop himself from falling in.
His fingers splayed against Cavan’s face as his body moved closer. The heat of Cavan’s mouth couldn’t compare to the hot cock pressed against Biton through thin layers of cotton. That Cavan desired him wasn’t in question. But why? Because Biton was gentle where others were cruel? Would Biton ever know his real feelings?
Desire pushed away the nagging questions. Sucking the shy tongue teasing his mouth, Biton pulled Cavan closer. The slender body melted against him. Biton’s fingers raked the short red hair. The ache in his groin intensified to scorching heat.
“Want you…” Cavan moaned as he gasped for breath.
The desperate desire to push into the velvet heat of Cavan’s tight ass almost overwhelmed him. “Cavan…” Biton wanted to tell him no, but the desperate hands pulling at him stilled his protests and dissolved his thoughts.
Holding him close, Biton rolled their bodies until Cavan was pinned beneath him.
The frantic pace of their kisses slowed. Biton stroked the short hair as he pulled away
from Cavan’s mouth.
The pale green eyes held such trust, such innocence. How could he, after all he’d been through, trust anyone?
Could Biton give up the part of his being that craved the control of his partner? Would he leave behind the pleasure of pain to keep the trust and innocence lighting Cavan’s eyes?

I have got to give Shayla Kersten mega props for this story. She took on subject matters here I would never have combined in a million years. Frankly because several of them hit extremely close to home and the fact she got a romance story that is close to believable out of it… DAMN! She’s hot!

Biton Savakis is a Dom who has just lost his slave of ten years to cancer only three months ago. A friend invites him to a small party where he meets and grows interested in a young submissive by the name of Craven. There is interest but Craven has been abused by his last Master and from what the people who rescued him can tell he is still healing from that event. Turns out Craven has a far more nasty past than anyone guessed and Biton takes it upon himself to try and help him.

The subject matter as you can tell is in no way light hearted. It does lead to a series of obvious but exceedingly touchy discussions on the differences between abuse and BDSM. The Focus being on the heart of the whole Safe, Sane and Consensual philosophy without the typical short cuts of simply repeating that stupid catch phrase over and over again as if hammering nails. Yeah Shayla you go girl!

Biton spends some time also in trying to teach the finer points of contracts, safe words and negotiation to Craven. Which had me wondering a bit since I have had little use for those things myself, but OK I mean it is the fad right now. Even though I know damn well that none of that actually protects you from any levels of risk involved and they are in my consideration sorta fluff. The best way for me to tell if a potential Master is worth your trust is by observing how he treats you and others, at least in my simplistic opinion. I still have not found any quick ways around that despite all the people swearing by all that other crap that sounds too close to marriage licenses and wedding rings for my comfort. Listen people get hurt all the time, good people too and not just in BDSM, and the best I have found you can do is stay alert and not get sucked into games and rituals as if those will save you from making a bad mistake.

Shayla hit some really good points by having Briton constantly demand Craven participate in their love making or a BDSM scene or what ever they were doing. He forced Craven not to just cave in with mind numbing soulless submission but to honestly participate in every action and react to it in some way giving of himself instead of treating it all as a one way deal. Good stuff there and it went a long way in selling this story to me since it shows the difference between someone being forced to do these things without will or like I call it “Zombie style” and someone wanting to be submissive. Hell, I see people make this mistake all the time based on misconceptions of what BDSM really is. Most people I have read writing these BDSM romance stories overlook these fine distinctions and small indicators of the focus and attention occurring in a good BDSM scene between two willing partners.

So does the whole thing work though? Well, there are issues mostly due to the length of the story here. There’s only about 65 pages in all. So the evolution of this relationship is not really given a chance to show through and the questions I had of Craven’s capability to get beyond all his years of abuse were still in my mind by the end. Shayla has already stated she is writing a sequel.

WOW! I am impressed you took this story on and kept such a tight focus in making it all understandable when I would have run far and fast in the exact opposite direction without a single clue of how to sell this particular brand of hurt and comfort in a BDSM context. This is the kind of stuff that could so easily get someone (like me) into trouble for making the slightest brain dead plot decision but you pulled it off very very well. You had my undivided attention from the first sentence while I watched you walk this tight rope and you never once lost my interest.

Grade A and I will keep watching for more genius from you.

What do other people say…
Fallen Angel Reviews
The Romance Studio
TwoLips Reviews
Love Romances & More
No Boundaries

Tags: BDSM Romance, Gay, Grade A, Shayla Kersten

John Preston: Mr. Benson

And Here’s To You Mr. Benson

I miss Drummer Magazine, DAMN IT! It was the first Gay magazine I ever subscribed to, part pornography, part pop culture critique, part advice for the truly perverted man, sometimes as funny as shit when they looked at some off-the-wall fetish and always very masculine, in fact it’s title read America’s Mag For The Masculine Male. I love these commentators I see today revising history to fit the latest fad they are discussing like the Bear culture and going on about how Bears brought masculinity back to the Gay community and how they overnight founded a revolution, an anti-mainstream movement. Bullshit!

Look at the original untouched grainy pictures and the original Leathermen published in these old copies of this one magazine. Drummer Magazine and the Leather community were years ahead in exploring masculinity, when the Bear movement was simply yet another fetish that Drummer covered in one of their themed issues.

I guess in talking about Drummer being a big Leather icon for me and most likely many others of my time I have to admit that I got involved reading it in the late 80’s and early 90’s when it was already slowly transforming itself first with slicked pages and then with even slicker models into a less honest BDSM oriented forum. Some people swear that the only good Drummer were those with the grainy pictures and the news print pages. Sad to say even by the time I was finding Leather and Drummer Magazine it had been quite a while since Drummer had truly been instrumental in giving the hyper masculine world of Leather and Gay BDSM a powerful voice with stories like this book right here. Drummer Magazine died a hateful, messy, irrelevant death in 1999.

John Preston originally wrote Mr. Benson as a short story, a small run through of what it would later become. The editors at Drummer Magazine were so impressed with the writing that they sent it back and requested that the story be rewritten into a novel for serialization. This novel was then run with its first chapter appearing in issue 29 in 1979 till the final chapter was published in issue 38 in 1980. I myself only have issues 35 through 38 of those. Mr. Benson became an eagerly awaited almost mythic tale and Drummer became the magazine to read for most Gay men. Soon t-shirts would appear with the words Looking For Mr. Benson across the chest and for the really daring and together Leather Tops they added a question mark to the end.

The story itself is actually quite simple it’s about two guys meeting in a nameless pseudo-Leather bar off Christopher Street in New York. Jamie the young bottom thinks he has got what it takes to handle Mr. Benson and soon learns he knows nothing at all. Most of the rest of the book is about Jamie’s journey into becoming Mr. Benson’s slave, his exploration of the mindset involved and the various nasty things that occur to him and with a relatively short side story that I can only best describe as something of a Nancy Slave and The Whipping Boys mystery that even included a van and yet no one asked for Scooby Snacks.

I want you to think about those boots, boy, think about the feel inside them. Think about how much you want to lick the surface of the leather… how much you want to suck on the feet inside. Think about them rubbing into your mouth and pressing against your balls… Keep those boots in your mind, boy… You have to learn every part of my body is to be taken care of, every part of my body is another chance at sex for you… I want you to get hard thinking about my toes… my fingers… every single part of my body. John Preston – Mr. Benson

Despite my picking on some of it’s minor flaws I honestly wish I had read Mr. Benson sooner than I did, it is an important addition to my book shelf and the writing really is not bad as S&M Erotica goes, in fact it’s very good. But… I have to agree with the comment John my Top once made about John Preston’s book giving people somewhat fantasized and inaccurate expectations of what a real BDSM relationship is about.

Let’s go over some common sense stuff for a minute since I am recommending this book.

Fulltime Roles

Um well, first up, Mr. Benson has Jamie quit his job to become a fulltime slave. I myself have never been given a chance at this type of an arrangement and quite honestly I most likely would not take it despite whatever escapist fantasies I may still secretly enjoy. The saving grace here is that John Preston added an epilogue later when the story was republished in book form that goes a little further to explain this issue. Mr. Benson states clearly how much work it is to maintain the Top role with Jamie full time and from my limited experience as a bottom this does help make this book more realistic. I am not saying this can never be done just that it is not typical or easy.

Even though you do eventually learn the habits, protocol, even the Top’s particular expectations of the role as second nature it’s not easy to pickup and it can take years to get it all down naturally, from my view at least. Then to add to that difficulty the idea of having to maintain these roles from the start full time with no time outs or downtime? Nice fantasy but not likely to happen. The other problem is not many people I know can afford the luxury of a 24/7 slave running around the house. I don’t know if these types of role problems grow less or worse if you continue to be trained as what I was taught to consider a Slave, since I never reached that level of commitment myself (although I do know the rules get stricter and even more narrowly defined), I still find it hard to believe it changes the issues of maintaining a role very much.

So Jamie has gone and told you his life story. I knew the little fucker was up to something. He’s been in his little playroom for hours every day, and I’ve known he’s been using the typewriter whenever I’ve left him alone in the apartment. I don’t care that he’s written it all down, not at all. It does sort of amuse me to read the result, though. Bottoms are so typical. They inject everything with so much symbolism and so much jargon. Not that he hasn’t told you the truth, at least basically. He’s right about the meeting, the training I put him through, and the ridiculous mess he got himself into. He’s even right when he tells you this is basically a love story. I’m man enough to admit I love the little bastard. John Preston – Mr. Benson

Real Hardcore Tops “do it all”
Real hardcore bottoms “accept everything”

Most Tops I have met do not get off on or perform every single one of the following acts… fist/whip/flog/watersports/scat/gangbang/bind/suspend/shave/pierce etc etc etc.
Most bottoms I know do not get off on or provide every single one of the following acts… fist/whip/flog/watersports/scat/gangbang/bind/suspend/shave/pierce etc etc etc.

Doing all of this and being seriously into all of this would be mighty interesting, maybe even a little dangerous and most likely make you quite popular. Expecting this to be the norm in reality or a requirement for being REAL hardcore is a REAL bad idea. This is why there are always initial negotiations (Which is not shown in the book.) especially if you do not intimately know the person whom you are doing these things with. Just to really mess with a lot of peoples fantasies here, quite a few Leather Tops I have met do not even fuck after the scene, they go home to their lovers. Sorry… Just so you know.

The only other small quibbles I have with the story, that seemed sorta off from my experience was some other hard to describe intangibles like, there are many reasons men get involved in BDSM and many reasons men choose to serve a Master, this fantasy only covers a few of any possible combination of reasons for these choices.

Then there’s the whole branding scene the night Jamie becomes Mr. Benson’s slave close to the beginning of the book. Now, I am not stating no one does the branding thing. But… one of the things John always said was “A Top always keeps his bottoms recyclable.” In other words, the bottom should be able to trust the Top and at a bare minimum expect to be able to leave the relationship in the exact same shape or even better shape than he came to him in.

Branding is sort of a permanent deal to happen so quickly without the required commitment or even slave (absolute ownership) aspects being discussed like when Mr. Benson does the tit-piercing scene at the end of the book, you almost want to reverse the events. See, there are things I have a hard time describing in all this, changes in the rules so to speak, that would be hard to write about without a whole other post so let’s just leave it at “levels of commitment that do not follow the actions very well”. Not the best wording but oh well…

If your looking for a great one-handed Gay BDSM classic do not miss Mr. Benson it’s too bad I can’t say the same about Drummer Magazine though.

Grade A for this well loved Classic Gay BDSM Romance!
That’s my stupid opinion at least.

Tags: BDSM, BDSM Romance, Cleis Press, Gay, Grade A, John Preston

Joey W. Hill: Natural Law

Dear Author’s Review of Natural Law

If there was one thing I could point to in all straight BDSM romances and say “enough already, you bitches!” it would have to be the highly suspect excuses for the characters actions. You know the excuses… The numerous times I have read the love interest wanted to bottom because she was raised by overbearing parents or was abused as a child is staggering. The number of times I have read that the hero wanted to be a Top because he was used to having control in his job as CEO or he was raised to be this distant emotionally stunted person and this was the only way he could open up… BLAH BLAH BLAH, WAH WAH WAH. Would people please cut the pop psychology crap on something they do not understand?

Thank you Joey W. Hill. Thank you for not making excuses or over analyzing why some people find the BDSM lifestyle to their liking. Thank you for not smacking my intelligence around and destroying the spell your story weaves while allowing romance readers a brief glimpse of the emotions and romantic power of a real BDSM relationship.

Thank you Joey W. Hill!

Natural Law the second book in the Nature Of Desire series takes us to the city of Tampa. A serial killer is on the loose and Mac Nighthorse with his homicide investigations department has figured out the connection. The victims were all male, straight, BDSM bottoms that went to a local BDSM club called The Zone. Mac goes to his boss immediately and convinces her to let him work this case undercover and join the club and place himself in danger to find this monster.

To the shock of Mac Nighthorse’s boss we find out our stud muffin Mac is not the controlling, strong, Alpha male, Top she thinks he is but that he enjoys bottoming to a Dominatrix in the dungeon.

Mac begins his investigation into The Zone and runs into our love interest Violet Siemanski who is just starting out in the scene as a Mistress but she is damn good at it. Mac and Violet end up doing a scene together that first night and from there the sparks fly. They both have dark secrets they are keeping. What will happen if and when Mac gives into Violet’s demand to serve her?

“It doesn’t surprise me to hear that. You like to test yourself. That’s what you’ve used your Mistresses for. They’re just an extension of your workout, testing your skills to resist weakness.” She kept her tone neutral, but he stiffened up under her touch.
“No. It’s not like that.”
“This is like going to the gym for you, Mac,” she continued, ignoring the protest. “Go to the gym, do twenty reps, go to the D/s hangout, get jerked off by some accommodating Mistress. You’re not invested. You’re high-power, so high-power you’ve never been topped. Because nobody sees those shields you maintain in such a charming way. Nobody has tried to go beyond using that beautiful body of yours and reveal what’s underneath. I’m going to make you beg.”
“I don’t beg. I serve.”
“Well, it serves me to have you beg. You won’t use me or survive me, Mackenzie.”

Damn, just damn! The conversations in this book are nothing one would expect to happen in real BDSM but they are right on the money in giving the reader the motives and underlying emotions happening in the scene. Joey W. Hill makes dang sure that a whipping scene is not just another whipping scene. That electro torture is not just another butt plug stuck in the ass.

Every reaction is planned for a reason. Every action has a purpose. Every character remains firmly set on their need to either serve or dominate.

“Nice try. I should give your ass a good beating, trying to give orders to a Mistress.” She gave his face a light swat with her nails, was not surprised a bit when his eyes shot fire at her.
“No, Mackenzie,” she said, her lips thinning into a straight line. “You don’t want to fuck me for the right reasons. You just want to erode my control, make me lose my senses so I’ll go easier on you next time. But I’m keeping the reins. I’m not giving up a bit of it, and I’m going to keep pushing you until I have all of you, not just the cock you’re so free with. It’s time you start realizing that having a Mistress means everything is hers, as I said before. Your heart, your mind, your soul and your body. Cock, ass, whatever I want of you is what you give me, and if you can’t get that through your thick skull, it’s going to get way rougher before it gets easier.”

Mac is in for a rough ride here. He gives as much back talk and unwillingness to cooperate as a bottom as she gives him in appropriate punishment as a Top.

I know this sounds twisted but there were moments here that may, for a vanilla mindset reader, look like they are overly abusive and maybe even wrong. But… not for me, I kept reading because it warmed my cold cold Leather bottom heart to see a Mistress so concerned about Mac and his needs as a bottom that she would spend the time and effort to break him. To me every scene here was romantic and powerful.

I know I am a sick fuck.

The most romantic scene comes about halfway through the book…

She placed a hand on his shoulder, leaned forward to put her parted lips against his ear. “This is going to be a hard ride, Mackenzie,” she whispered. “Everything that happens to you here is my will, for your pleasure and my own. I’m going to fuck you hard, and there’s going to be nothing left for you to hold onto except me. I’m tearing everything away. From this moment forward, you’ll always know who your Mistress is, who holds the bit in your teeth.”
“Give it your best shot, sugar,” he said, that spasmodic quiver rippling through his tense muscles. He was scared, she could tell. Scared that she was right.
She knew she was.

Oh fuck! You go girl! Take him down! Make him or break him it’s all the same.

I love love love, this book for this reason alone. It maps out the motivations so well and not one minute, not one second, not one moment of any of these scenes broke that spell for me or made me question the experience or the understanding of BDSM of the author.

Joey W. Hill, you rock!

There was one problem though I did have with this book and it’s simply my experience informing my preference as a reader. Joey, you did so well with the BDSM scenes, why did you have to go back to that detective thing? Why did you take us out of the dungeon that I so enjoyed and make me feel like you had to re-orient on their relationship and it had to be kept separate from their roles in the dungeon? I did not live this separate life. I learned to interweave BDSM (or what I was taught as Leather) and it’s protocols and my role into my day to day life with my Top right there to guide me.

Why did you give both these characters backgrounds that implied they had made good friends and acquaintances in the scene but then seem to isolate them at the end of the book. I felt cheated that you did not show their buddies congratulating them and responding to their coming together in a positive way and show how they handled the BDSM club scene together as a loving caring couple. I wanted to see that. Not the negative villains you showed us putting them down for it and trying to… well you know… or the vanilla crowd giving us their uninformed opinion which meant nothing to me.

I hope you do write a book that changes some of that some day because I feel like you know me, that you understand sick fucks like me, and you describe this balancing act and these BDSM roles and interactions so well. I will not even point to the parts of this book that told me “you knew”. The old Leather protocol you relayed without much fanfare rocked. Those will remain between us because I want the option to use those same attributes, those same indicators, in other reviews with authors that fuck this shit up constantly.

The other differences you dabbled in are minor but did not get fully described for the readers but I understood you were working in a Romance format and had to live by it’s “limitations”.

For those of you wanting to know what “limitations” I am talking about…

Monogamy or non-monogamy, is not strictly defined in BDSM. (BDSM is not about relationships or emotions, it is about roles and needs.) But… typically monogamy and typically possessive childish games have no place with those Tops who are really into the lifestyle. Now I am talking from a Gay perspective here but I have met a few straight couples and well…

Most people who are in BDSM do not do 24/7 roles. Joey shows this but does not explain how rare and difficult it is to find people who need or want to bring this into their day to day life and relationships. Most people play at this stuff, not live it. There is a difference and a defined separation between those who are considered “Players” and those who are considered “Real” or a valid part of the BDSM community. It’s not snobbery, it just is.

This book is available at Ellora’s Cave. Get it now damn it!

Anyway, the fact I can talk about these differences and describe them while reviewing this book means you have hit the nail on the head, Joey W. Hill. You made a fictional story real and that is very very special to me. Thank you again… Grade A

Tags: BDSM, BDSM Romance, Ellora's Cave, Grade A, Joey W. Hill, Straight

Bridget Midway: Love My Way

Love My Way by Bridget Midway
From: Loose-Id

This review is dedicated to Annie the most excellent romance reviewer. Although our views on this book will be completely different I respect her and admire her opinion. She rocks!

I am not a BDSM expert. That my friends would take far more years of service than I have ever given a Top. I was simply lucky you might say. I was introduced to and fell madly in love with a full time, old school, Gay BDSM, Leatherman Top, by the name of John Noble. This of course meant that even with as little knowledge and or interest I actually had in BDSM and Leather I had better get busy learning the ropes so to speak.

John was, and will always be in my heart, the best teacher I ever served, the only man who’s collar I have proudly worn, and our time together was far too short. Master Noble is gone but what he taught me I hold very dear. Maybe someday I might be so lucky again but I am not holding my breath on that point. Sometimes lightening will only strike once but the change it brings is enough.

Oh Bridget, I feel bad. No no no guys, I feel a little guilty here. I am not gonna knock this review out of the park with my usual caustic grip of “who gives a shit” humor today because I will try and analyze and explain my opinion as best I can.

Now Bridget Midway why why why the hell The Bachelor? Why use a reality TV show that sucked so hard for the main premise of this book? EGADS!

The Bachelor if you have never seen this abomination to all things romantic and good just follow the link and read all about it my friends. This was one of the shows that made me swear off reality programming for good, forever and ever and ever. Even now I cringe in pain thinking of THAT SHOW (with the fake Italian Prince ewwwww…) and that promise I made to myself that dark night which is truly sad because Project Runway might return and well, I cannot watch it now.

Anyway back to the book, Our “hero” Eagan Morton that we get to meet right off the bat comes across to me as some Simon Cowell clone from American Idol. Ugh! Well I am sorry but the buzzer just sounded again, being an insulting and demanding egoist asshole from hell makes him about as much a Top as I am.

Now our love interest Ananda Zelder, whom I liked. She seemed smart and personable, talented and committed to her dance. I could see her going on the show to fuck with Master Ego. It made perfect sense to me really. I might be evil and do the same thing.

So you see the problem here already? I am looking at the books “hero” as a big old fucking jerk who from now on I will call… Master Ego.

Now back to our Bachelor rip off… 12 contestants vie to become Master Ego’s submissive. Woohoo! Let’s insult every bottom worth their salt out there, shall we?

Prizes! That is fucking insulting! I have never got on my hands and knees and licked a Tops boot for the chance to win what is behind door number one. I do it to “serve the man” and I am proud of my “service” and the giving of it. As a slave that is my only possession, the only gift I can give.

The whole 12 women thing was too Barbie Goes To A Beauty Pageant for me. BDSM if taken down to it’s core, if you strip away the traditions and the actions is about focus, intense focus, between a Top and a bottom. What are 12 women competing in a game show gonna be focused on? Yeah, I thought so too.

That is not all my friends Master Ego goes for my last nerves about mid-way through the damn book. Pansy got canned for eating the Strawberry Sauce… Why did Master Ego not ask beforehand each submissive about possible allergies and yes, that is his role not his assistants. Freesia got canned for using the Gel Candle on Meadow… Why did Master Ego not see the Gel Candle and order it to be taken out of the room immediately, that is his role? BUZZZZZZZZZZ! Master Ego, you are the weakest link!

I used to watch John test every rope, every chain, every structure he was planning to hang me from, every needle, every flogger, every whip. John would scan every dungeon we went in and if there was any chance of an accident possibly occurring outside of his control he would not do the scene. Trust is something a Master earns by showing the bottom how important, how special, and how precious they are. We are not toys that are there to be played with and then left lying around for someone else to pick up and put away. This is the feeling given over and over again in this book.

Master Ego is not in control of the scenes he performs, he is not in control of the people he allows in his life, he is not in control of those who even just work for him. What kind of a Top is he? Where is the formality, the calm, the commanding experience that I expect from a Top?

“So, that whole whipping thing, you okay with that now, or is your hand a bit off like last time?” Ophelia asked as he took each step hard and militant-like.
With her cutting words though, he stopped his march. Ananda stayed about two steps behind him and didn’t move a muscle. Eagan glared back down to the front door area.
Ophelia grabbed her left shoulder and pushed over her camisole top strap. “The mark you left is almost gone. See?” She glanced at Ananda and smiled. “It didn’t hurt that much anyway.”

WTF? Love My Way presents many concepts about BDSM one being Safe, Sane, and Consensual This is all well and good but BDSM is mostly about personal responsibility and taking risks. Where the hell is the personal responsibility here? Safe, Sane, and Consensual is a silly fucking catch phrase not an absolute. Everything in BDSM has a level of risk involved and by submitting to a Top YOU, as the bottom, accept personal responsibility for the level of risk YOU are taking. The Top is there to provide risk management, that is his role.

So Ophelia using this boo boo as some indication of abuse is fucked up and all sorts of wrong. Honey, if that is all you have to show for your much remarked over “experience” then you have not been doing BDSM right at all. I have marks on me going back years. These people do not in any way represent those who are really practicing and experienced, real as in a lifestyle not a weekend fling, BDSM. This is more Peyton Place than I would ever accept or put up with or be a part of. Yes folks, you can always take off the collar hand it back and walk away.

I will point to the next issue I had…

“And you and everyone else around here be respectful of my home and business.” Eagan pointed to stickers that lined his front door. “I run a business out of my home that’s approved by the city. I have the proper permits to film here. I keep my crews in my home, so there has been nothing going on outside. What you and the other neighbors are reacting to are the TV shows that you must be watching.”

No no no no Master Ego! One of the first rules of Basic Leather Protocol is DO NOT scare the little old ladies. DO NOT wear full Leather in inappropriate situations and ALWAYS show respect towards others even when they do not respect you. If you fail to do this you are WRONG! It is not that he is doing this show in his house that bothers me, it is his lack of respect for those who show understandable concern and the holier than thou soapbox he places himself on to prove their worries foolish.

Again, Master Ego does not expect to earn trust. He fails as a Master of anything. I think I have said enough here. This book is available at Loose-Id.

If you want to read a good, straight, BDSM romance that has the unique ability to show a strong, masculine, straight, Leather bottom who is normally dominant outside the dungeon, but subservient while in his chosen role. Damn, it does not get better than this…

Joey W. Hill: Natural Law
From: Ellora’s Cave

Book 2 in the Nature of Desire series

Teddy Pig quote… num num num num num num num TASTY!

Dear Author’s Review of Natural Law

I apologize Bridget it is not your hard work or your skill as a writer that I am upset over it is the underlying dynamics that break the spell. I hope you can understand… Grade D

What other people think…
Dionne Galace
Romance Review Today
Fallen Angel Reviews
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Tags: BDSM, BDSM Romance, Bridget Midway, Grade D, Loose-Id, Straight