Ann Somerville: Going Down

Going Down by Ann Somerville
From: LuLu

From my review at The Good, The Bad and The Unread

Ann Somerville obviously loves this world she has created here in Going Down. Read more

Tags: Ann Somerville, Gay, Grade C, LuLu, Sci-fi Romance

Lauren Dane: Wolf Unbound

New review posted on The Good, The Bad & The Unread Read more

Tags: Grade C, Lauren Dane, Samhain Publishing, Straight, The Good The Bad & The Unread, Werewolf Romance

Lila Dubois: Savage

Savage by Lila Dubois
From: Liquid Silver

I reviewed this sucker over at The Good, The Bad, The Unread.

I just want to thank Sybil for inviting my cranky ass to post over there.

Teddypig’s guest review of Savage by Lila Dubois
Paranormal Fantasy ebook published 7 Nov 07 by Liquid Silver Books

Blurb:

Anleeh spent five long years working to forget from where he’d come. No one would imagine that the calm and debonair Lord Justice was once a barbarian warrior who bathed in the blood of his enemies. Terrified of ever losing the control he fought so hard to gain, Anleeh vows never to return to his homeland of Den.

Sheltered all her life in the Temple, Siara longs for adventure. Saddled with grave responsibility due to her studious and steady nature, Siara wants to leave it all behind for a life of great adventure and purpose. When the newly crowned king and queen recruit her as an ambassador to the far off land of Den, she leaps at the opportunity. Her companion, Lord Anleeh, is not so eager.

If they are to succeed Anleeh must not only strip Siara of the trappings of civility, but demand her submission. Anything less than her complete obedience and loyalty will make them vulnerable to attack in a world where fighting and sex are considered close kin. Siara surprises him with not only her strength, but her passion and spirit. They discover exquisite pleasure and unexpected understanding in each other’s arms. Yet, Anleeh hides the truth of what he was from Siara, even as he feels his beast crawling beneath his skin.

Contains: D/s, Spanking, public sex

Read an excerpt. Â

I have to admit to buying this book in part because of Forbidden’s spectacular cover art created by April Martinez and not just the number of favorable reviews I have read of this series. This book had all sorts of stylistic references to some of my favorite fantasy writers. The Travelogue Fantasy Romance found in the first 75 pages is straight out of classic Andre Norton ~ Year of The Unicorn from her Witch World series . It’s here that he-man Anleeh starts “training” Siara to submit to him adding a whole BDSM dynamic into the budding relationship without the typical leather and chains. After the couples arrival in Den the story changed, though, and started to remind me somewhat of John Norman’s Gor series with the whole male dominated warrior culture, worshiping the primitive animal nature of man, and the manly man subjugation of woman.

Lila Dubois’ writing is top notch and I was quickly drawn into the story and its characters. My reference to Andre Norton should tell you how much I enjoyed it since this style of writing is what initially got me into reading Romance in the first place. All those early Sci-fi/Fantasy writers tossing Romance elements in liberally with their sword battles and strange new worlds. So this was a very fun read for me. Lila got me involved not so much with the Romance part though, since Siara readily admits right from the start to having already fallen for the big hunk-a-burning-love that is Anleeh and Anleeh eventually admits to himself on the journey to being ever so much more so attracted to Siara. The Romance, let’s face it, is a given the minute the sex starts happening so the main conflicts arise from their arriving in Den.

So in Den with the men, Anleeh, the great warrior, returns all civilized and sissified to this Gor-lite culture that worships only the manliest beastly man. We discover, when Siara talks with his mommy, that Anleeh really ran off to The Land Between the Sea to get away from his daddy and uncle who were all into him becoming this great warrior beast-like killer who ravages their enemies on the battle field. Sorta like how Anleeh starts sexually ravaging Siara in front of the whole Hall of warriors and family. But Siara, she likes it!

Siara on the other hand was raised in prim and proper The Land Between the Sea. So even though Anleeh helps her discover her inner sexy vixen chick she still is not all that keen on the Den idea of justice by female subjugation. Especially when she watches a woman named Allana being beaten with a cat o’ nine tails for having been caught by her husband having an affair. The guy she has the affair with, well he gets nothing, it turns out it is all about the woman’s fault for being sexually impure or something like that. How dare they!

There I was reading a dark dark fantasy with all these angst ridden conflicts which were pretty dang cool seeing as how the hero and heroine’s internal struggles with this society matched up with the whole diplomatic mission they were on. A real “mirrors within mirrors” type of deal with Anleeh seeking to come to terms with his inner psychotic beast of war and Siara coming to terms with some really fucked up male chauvinist pigs in fur pants. Then I started looking at how many pages we had left after the whole travelogue and damn, not many, so I was wondering to myself how Lila was going to resolve all these issues she kept bringing up. They were some pretty nasty issues mind you.

One day after the treaty gets signed just as our now sex crazed couple is getting ready to pack up and head back to The Land Between the Sea there is a call to arms and Anleeh rushes off to fight the bad guys for dear old dad and uncle. He returns a fully raging psychotic beast of war that he feared he would become. But Anleeh, he likes it!

Siara then uses THE POWER OF LURVE to show him what exactly he had been missing about himself all these years. That’s right all his problems were magically solved when he changes into a real beast, so she touches him and BAM he’s a panther…. Hold on! Um, what does this fix if he was upset over being a human just “acting” like a psycho killer beast? So what the hell difference does it make if he can actually turn into a wolf or a panther or a dragon or whatthefuckever? That just means he has real claws. I don’t get this ending! How does simply turning into an actual beast resolve his internal conflicts with acting like a beast in battle with daddy and uncle cheering him on? Am I being dense here? Is it just me?

Oh, and THE POWER OF LURVE also seems to resolve Siara’s conflict as well, so beating a poor woman for adultery is fine because she LURVES Anleeh and she would never ever ever do anything like that. So it does not really matter. *heh*

See how I came up with this Gor thing? I liked this story and all that but it really started to bother me in the end like some sort of immature male sexual fantasy right out of the Conan Coloring Book for Preteen Boys (published by Teddiuspigus Press). I still cannot figure out how turning into a were-dragon and flying off into the sunset fixes all their damn problems.

Grade: C

Tags: Fantasy Romance, Grade C, Lila Dubois, Liquid Silver, Straight

Jill Knowles: A Pirate’s Primer

A Pirate’s Primer by Jill Knowles
From: Loose-Id

“By all that’s holy, it is you,” Adam breathed. He’d been hoping the legends were merely that — legends. But they were real. Wonderfully, terrifyingly real.

“Not very holy, mate.” The pirate spoke with the rounded vowels of the South Seas. Full lips curved in a mischievous smile, teeth gleaming white in the darkness. Gold glinted in his smile as well. Adam tried in vain to find breath to speak to the apparition before him. He hadn’t been this nervous the first time he’d ordered men to battle.

“Who is it you think I am, then?” the pirate asked, setting his hat on the cot beside him.

“Captain Jaden Fox of the Grey Lady,” Adam forced the words out. He studied the pirate’s clothing and face, searching for something, anything, to tell him he was wrong.

“Ah,” the pirate said, coming to his feet. “It’s like that, is it?” He prowled close to the bars. “They’ve realized who they’ve got and sent you to parlay, eh?”

Adam drew in a breath, expecting to smell stale sweat and unwashed human, and perhaps things even less pleasant. Instead, a sharp, crisp breath of sea air filled his lungs. Surprise broke through his shock at meeting this man. “Not exactly. My father and brother have no idea who you are, nor would they believe me if I tried to tell them.” Just like they dismissed talk of the capricious sea Goddess Marita, who he was certain had sent the Grey Lady and her captain on this deadly errand.

“Then why are you here?” Fox asked, sprawling back on the cot like a sun-drunk cat.

“I’ve studied the legends, learned the lore, the oaths crews swear to their captains. I know about Telmarston, swallowed by the sea when those oaths were broken.” Adam licked his lips, tasting salt. “I wanted to tell you that only a handful of men know of the betrayals my father has ordered.”

“Including you,” the pirate said, tossing his hat back onto his foot.

“I found out tonight. Believe me, I’d have tried to stop them if I’d known.” He’d been hurting, unable to sleep and in search of brandy to help numb the pain when he’d overheard the conversation between Arthur and their father. Pain forgotten, he’d listened in growing horror as their plans had become dreadfully clear.

They were paying men to pretend to be pirates and get taken on as crewmembers, lying to the men that an oath given to the Drover’s Guild would protect them from breaking their oath to the ship’s captain. And it might have, if the oath wasn’t sworn on and witnessed by the sea Goddess Marita. It was an oath no one broke, so the pirates didn’t look for treachery. The Goddess showed no mercy to those who foreswore her.

The false pirates carried magical signs in their blood, letting guild mages track them. Guild ships would surround the pirate vessel and demand the surrender of the captain, promising to let the crew go unharmed. But as soon as the captain and the spy were onboard the guild ships, the pirate ship was shelled, sunk with all hands on board. It truly was a perfect plan. With no pirates to raid merchant vessels, Ralston was rapidly becoming the South’s premier port. Most of the imported goods were shipped inland, keeping the Chandler’s wagons busy, and allowing for three price increases in the past year alone. The Chandler family was becoming richer and even more powerful, and the only cost was the family honor. Though, if Adam was correct, that was about to change.

The piling of betrayal on top of betrayal had brought the crimes to the attention of the Goddess, and She’d apparently sent the Grey Lady and Captain Fox to claim vengeance. The ship and crew had been sent to the bottom of the ocean during a similar betrayal more than two hundred years ago. They hated oathbreakers.

The pirate spoke, jarring Adam from his memories. “You’d have stopped the guild from killing the pirate brethren?”

“At the very least, I’d have seen to it that the townsfolk knew what was going on.”

Fox laughed, a harsh, ugly sound. “And you think the good people of Ralston would rise up and tell the guild to stop?”

“Truthfully?” Adam asked, resting his shoulder against the bars in a vain attempt to relieve some of the strain on his left leg. When the pirate nodded, he continued, “I think some of the people would be angry, some would think the guild was right, and most wouldn’t care one way or the other, as long as they had food to put on the table. But at least they’d have made the choice.” He let more of his weight rest on the bars, almost hoping Fox would grab him and use him in an ill thought-out escape plan. He wouldn’t mind being wrong about the man’s identity, not if it would save lives.

Well, that was too quick… for a short 72 pages I better not write too long a review then.

I really wanted to like this book. I love me some butt pirates and there simply are not many, if any, Gay Pirate Romances out there really. So here I was ready to love love love this book for all it’s Pirate goodness. Add to that the fact the sexy hero of this story Captain Jaden Fox is a stand in for Jack Sparrow and baby we are cookin with gas.

The problem for me was not Jaden, our hero, or the Pirate Packed action story itself but the real weakness for me was Adam Chandler, the young lame guy who tries to save Jaden’s life only to put his own at great risk. I had problems with him because he is presented to us at the beginning of the book shocked by his attraction to our handsome pirate Captain.

The fact that in seconds of their meeting they were kissing each other just did not help make it at all believable. I mean there were more than enough places in this far too brief story that Jill could have slowed the book way down and allowed the characters to fully ease into this relationship. It would have been highly understandable for Adam to be wary of our pirates intentions and uncertain about his own responses to Jaden.

There could have been several days added to the part where Jaden is waiting for his execution to allow more discussion and more time for Adam to not only decide to take the substantial personal risk to help the pirate but also to come to terms with his own strange feelings of attraction for Jaden.

After Jaden escapes and Adam is then rescued there was yet another point where the author could have spent more time showing us the Pirate ship, the Grey Lady, and it’s crew of 53 by way of Adam’s exploring and getting to know his surroundings. Instead Adam immediately jumps into a bunk with Jaden and throws his legs in the air, which again did not make much sense.

All this rush rush rush, from the first kiss to the first sex scene. I kept wondering how Adam who had always seen himself as straight and admits to hearing nothing but degrading things about Gay Men and Gay Sex could handle such a quick wham bam instant man on man relationship. There is no build or anticipation or real character development or small indications of some type of transition here. I felt I was missing Adam’s POV and scenes that would let me know his reactions to all of this and how he came to terms with the unexpected changes. Adam kept coming across distant, bewildered, and almost cold even when he is miraculously cured of his incapacitating injuries. The few things we did learn about his growing feelings were mentioned after the fact, in summary, not shown to us at the time of the events.

The dastardly villain was fun and sufficiently threatening and the world building Jill did was top notch. The story had many twists all combined nicely but the frantic pacing and the lack of chances to catch our breath and see how the characters handled these twists before the next round really hurt the Romance for me.

I’ll give this Butt Pirate Romance a C and hope Jill Knowles gives this unique world full of promise another spin only with maybe a bit more of a slow hand and some finesse.

I still recommend this for a quick but unfortunately very rare Butt Pirate Fix

Tags: Gay, Grade C, Jill Knowles, Loose-Id, Pirate Romance

Joey W. Hill: Rough Canvas

Rough Canvas ~ Nature of Desire Book 6 by Joey W. Hill
From: Ellora’s Cave

When he logged on, the cell phone rang on the counter, startling him in the quiet of the early morning hour. Wiping the sweat off his face with one arm, he hobbled to the phone. He shouldn’t answer it. But it was the first time Marcus had called at this time. During the day, there was the pretense that Thomas was doing something else. Working, with family, whatever. To ignore it now would be like ignoring him if he stood right in front of him, and the bastard probably knew it. Plus he wanted to hear his voice. Why’d he delete that message? Marcus wasn’t calling as much anymore, and Thomas didn’t think it was because of the email option. It was as if he realized the power of sensory deprivation. Duh. Who better than a Master knew the power of turning Thomas’ own defense mechanism against him?

Opening the cell, he noticed it had a full battery. Crap. No excuse there. If he mimicked low battery beeping noises, Marcus would see through that pathetic attempt and laugh at him. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” The first notes of his voice, God, the first syllables, made need coil hard in Thomas’ stomach, twisting the pain. Thomas leaned over again, tried to breathe. Sought something to say. “I just finished the last one.”

“Just now.”

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

“You’ve got that dazed sound to your voice like you’re coming out of a month of solitary. How’s it look?”

Thomas turned, his gaze sweeping over them, resting on that largest canvas specifically. “I don’t know. It’s different from the others.” Son of a bitch. He slid down the side of the counter, pressed his hand to his abdomen. Quit. He didn’t want to talk. He wanted to hear Marcus talk, let that voice pull him out of the place the painting had taken him, into a place somewhere in between it and here. “Don’t know if you’ll like it. If it’ll sell like the others. Don’t know…” Don’t know anything. But talk. For the love of God, talk.

“Unfortunately, selling and liking are two different things, because most of the buying public wouldn’t know talent if it bit them in the ass. It’s my job to educate them, Thomas.”

Thomas leaned his head against the cabinet, closed his eyes. “You know, it’s funny you’ve never called me anything but that. Most people assume I’m a Tommy, Tom.” Thomas covered the mouthpiece, coughed into a used rag and noticed without much interest he was coughing up flecks of blood again.

“When did you have a full night’s sleep last?”

“You nursemaiding me? Girl.”

“Yeah, fuck off. When, Thomas?”

Thomas rubbed his forehead, scanned the counter for his antacids, realized he’d taken the last of them an hour ago. “Last night.”

There was a pause on the other end, significant enough that Thomas had to squelch the urge to fill in the pause with some type of verbal squirming.
“You want to really piss me off, you lie to me one more time.”

Thomas licked the residual powder off the antacid paper. “Then don’t ask questions you already know the answer to. Jesus.” His eyes watering, he gripped the phone harder. “I don’t want to fight about this, okay? I’ve been staying up late to get the paintings done. It’s what I wanted to do. I can’t…talk…”

“Thomas.” Marcus’ voice came through sharp and hard. “You’re having one of those attacks again, aren’t you?”

“It’s okay, they happen. Marcus, I’ve got to go…”

“Lie down on your side, right now. If you’re not going to let a doctor help you, you listen to me. Or I get off the phone and call 911 to send an ambulance to your house.”

Alarm shot through him, increasing the fiery sensation. Thomas went to the floor, cursing and muttering, but doing it.

“Now take your hand, lay it over where it hurts. Don’t press. Just lay it there.”

Thomas complied, holding onto Marcus’ voice, fairly sure this wasn’t going to work, the pain too intense, but he knew Marcus would do what he said. Also, just holding onto his voice, fulfilling his instruction, was what he wanted above everything else. Just talk… It would pass. It always did. He’d had to have that extra strip of bacon this morning, like an idiot. He was hungry and he’d needed the coffee to wake up.

“Have you done it?”

“Yeah. Yes. I’m not a child.”

“You’re acting like one. Shut up and listen. It’s my hand there. Just move it, easy, slow circles. I’m sitting right behind you, leaning over you. I’ve got one hand on your head, stroking your hair. You feel my fingers there?”

Thomas closed his eyes. Remembered them, felt them. “The way you do when I sleep, but I’m not all the way under.”

‘That’s right.” Another pause. “I’m going to talk to you, and while I do, I’m going to keep stroking your head and rubbing your stomach in slow circles.”

He could feel it. Honest to God. And it was making it easier to breathe. Maybe it felt so real because he wanted it so much. Marcus’ fingers. Strong, long fingers, no scars or blemishes.

“How’s your face looking?”

“Sshh… Obey your Master. Be still and let me touch you. I just want to take care of you, pet. Just want you to let me take care of you.”

“But…who takes care of you?” There was a silence on the other end, but it was full of so many things it almost felt like Marcus was there, right behind him, his body close, curled up spooning with Thomas like that very first night, and many nights thereafter. “I mean, other than the million guys who’d be willing to hold your hair out of your face when you throw up for the chance to sleep with you?”

“One more comment about my hair and I will get a crew cut.” A pause. “You take care of me, pet. Just by breathing and existing, you take care of me in ways you can’t imagine.”

“You say things like that just to mess me up,” Thomas said. “Mess with my head. I love your hair. Don’t cut it.”

“Making demands?”

“Why not? You going to come punish me?”

“I might. Do you miss having your ass strapped by your Master? Serving me with your mouth?”

Something stirred other than the pain. You know I do. Thomas couldn’t say it aloud, but knew he didn’t need to do so. It was a part of the whole empty need in his burning gut that wanted Marcus.

“What are you wearing?”
It brought Thomas up short, it was so cliché. It should have called for a quip or a chuckle, but not when Marcus’ voice was sending frissons of energy down Thomas’ spine with that note of don’t-refuse-me-or-I’ll-fuck-you-up command. “I’m kidding,” Marcus said before he could respond. “I don’t give a shit. Take it all off. Now.”

Oh my, I know this review might upset a few people but I am gonna be honest here.

I think Joey W. Hill is a great writer. Not just good, but probably one of the best writers today writing about BDSM. Nobody has the clarity and focus when describing the relationship dynamics between a Top/Dom and a bottom/slave in a BDSM scene than she has. John Preston could only wish he had her understanding.

My problems come from when she steps outside of the dungeon and starts describing the characters and their motivations and their backgrounds. I have to admit it just does not ring true to my ear. Which is probably because I sat in the third row at several Skinny Puppy concerts.

Anyway, our heroes are Marcus, who is this very successful New York art gallery owner and art promoter and Thomas a highly talented artist discovered by Marcus’ and also his lover. Marcus is the BDSM Dom and Thomas is his slave.

Thomas has a run of bad luck with his father in North Carolina dieing and then his little brother getting into a tractor accident and unable to walk so he rips his “collar” off and runs back home to North Carolina to take care of his family. Marcus eventually gets around to visiting Thomas in order to find out what happened and why Thomas left him without saying goodbye. Marcus then proceeds to get Thomas to start painting again and spend a week with him in a remote cabin so they can work things out between them.

About Thomas’ “collar”… A gold waist chain? Huh? Collars are not fashion accessories, they are traditional symbols used to express and communicate clearly ownership and position in a BDSM social setting. Who is gonna see a stupid gold waist chain? What does a gold waist chain clearly communicate to anyone? Nada! Zilch! Collars in this case are symbolic like a wedding ring but only in the fact you are using a commonly agreed upon object that is worn to express ownership. You see it on some bottom/slave’s neck and you can then note that the person belongs to someone who you should be talking to first and seeking permission from before interacting with the bottom foremost. That is if you know what Leather Protocol is.

Initially this story seemed OK. Maybe a little soapy with the continual “will they / won’t they” get back together cycling that takes place over and over again. One minute they are divulging their deep seated feelings for each other and the next they are arguing and denying there is anything they can do to change what has happened. Wash, Rinse, Repeat.

My problems really started when Thomas is experiencing all these panic attacks and gastronomical pains from a growing ulcer. Marcus knows this is occurring and the reasons for it, but there is never a moment where he draws the line with Thomas and says “You are going to see a doctor now.” At no time does he put his foot down as Thomas’ owner (Which is what he says he is.) about this in a way that showed he cared for Thomas and he would not let the man continue to ruin his health with denial. In fact Marcus seems to do the exact opposite and feeds this denial and simply does not make it an issue until the very end and then only to Thomas’ mother, of all people, which just seemed irresponsible to me.

The biggest WTF moment in this whole book comes from the scene above where Thomas is lying on the floor writhing in pain, clutching his stomach, and then suddenly Marcus calls on the cell and phone sex breaks out. I am sorry, but the last thing I can think of when in real medically induced pain is to have sex. No way! Medically induced pain is totally different than say the pain of being flogged. The mindsets are night and day and I have never been able to switch those gears.

Denial seems to be Thomas’ main theme in the story and he goes so far as to tell Marcus he is considering marrying this girl his very Catholic mother wants him to hook up with. Wow, how long has Thomas been “not gay” and in denial? What is with all this denial when supposedly he has been running around New York with Marcus as his Top this whole time? Has he never sat down and reflected that there was no going back on this and he is queer, he is gay, he is a great big fucking cock sucker? I mean the guy is submitting to Marcus as a BDSM bottom but Marcus, his concerned attentive Top, never forces him to come to terms with any of it? Come on, Thomas has to have thought this part of the attraction through… at least as far as admitting he is gay by now.

Marcus is portrayed in the story as this highly regarded Dom/Top in the BDSM community. Marcus has never allowed a bottom/slave to become attached to him. How does this work? I mean from my own experiences in BDSM is it is all about the length of experience and the reputation that comes from being in a couple Top/bottom or Master/slave. Reputation for a bottom/slave stems from who his Top is, who trained him, for how long, or at least it did for me. The reputation for a Top comes from his track record in regards to how well he has trained and worked with bottoms/slaves. So how does Marcus get this high regard in the BDSM community if he never allowed anyone close? You can not get this type of respect based on your good looks and your distant pained expressions. BDSM is not about shallow posers or how well you can throw a dinner party.

The final blow came from Marcus yet again. At the very end of the story he purposefully puts himself in a position to be attacked and killed in some really dangerous area of New York all because Thomas left to go straighten things out with his family, but only after Thomas had promised Marcus he would be back. Instead of showing restraint and discipline (Something a Top should be familiar with.) Marcus suddenly throws this hissy fit and decides to off himself if he can not have Thomas as his lover. He even talks to Thomas on the phone while doing this. Marcus’ threat is apparent and obvious to Thomas and the reader.

I guess this was supposed to be the final big drama. Instead it just killed this couple for me. How can we have a viable HEA when the core relationship is this sort of unstable emotionally blackmailed codependency? Marcus just became this selfish, suicidal, fucked up immature brat that I would have walked away from after letting him know he needed serious professional counseling ASAP.

Till death do us part should never be a threat used to get your way or used to get the other persons love or attention.

Teddypig Rule #1: Suicide threats made by the Hero or Heroine or Significant Other in any romance and I mean ANY ROMANCE! in regards to the direction of the relationship involved, are as wrong as out right physical abuse preformed in anger by either party. No amount of fancy writing can justify it, the character will not be able to apologize for it, the story is never gonna pass go nor can it ever hope to collect my $200, there is no miracle of redemption that will work for me, none! nada! zilch! not even in your wildest dreams. Time to announce the loser baby and hang up the phone on some serious relationship poison. So long, Farewell!

I had a tough time with this book since Joey W. Hill is such a good writer but even her worst misstep is better than most writer’s best foot forward so Rough Canvas still gets a Grade C.

I am so not recommending it.

Tags: BDSM Romance, Ellora's Cave, Gay, Grade C, Joey W. Hill

Larry Townsend: The Leatherman’s Handbook

Dancers are not made of their technique, but their passion.

I was a young sailor who had just been stationed in the DC area when I first met Rocco at the small Leather shop in downtown DC. Now I fully admit, I had been turned on by various books I had read like The Leatherman’s Handbook but I had never intentionally gone out seeking any real experience in what it talked about.

Anyway, Rocco asked if I wanted to join him that night for a drink at The DC Eagle, a well known Leather bar in town which I had never gone to. I met him there and had a drink and during our conversation he introduced me to a very good-looking strikingly handsome man in full Leather sitting across the second floor bar from us by the name of John. In recounting to you that night I have to admit I was totally clueless, little did I know that one; Rocco was the president of a well known local motorcycle club not to mention a remarkable Leathersmith and two; John was a well known and highly respected Top.

Rocco left me in John’s care after a couple of drinks and John and I proceeded to talk some more. Then John noticed a young guy in a harness approaching us and asked me if I would be adverse to him indicating we were intending to leave together to this other person he termed a ‘pushy bottom’. Being that I had just spent the last hour or so drooling while staring intently into his beautiful pale blue eyes hoping that he might just suggest such a thing, I readily agreed.

We actually did go back to his place where I begged him to take me into a scene having absolutely no clue what I was asking for or from whom I was asking it of. I stripped and lay there on the bed expecting the typical few swats and a fuck I had thought would take place. Well, the flogging part I got right but one thing lead to another and next thing I know those beautiful blue eyes had me wordlessly accepting first one then another and another till the best way I can describe it I was literally pinned to his bed. Not with restraints, not with ropes or chains or anything I was expecting but with real fucking needles. John later admitted he was testing me, he was testing my limits and would have stopped at any time I wanted, but did so without any verbal negotiation and taking me farther than anyone would expect a total newbie to go and I had readily gone there. Well at least up to a point that is, the moment I let myself realize exactly what had been done and exactly how many of those damn needles were sticking out of my body, well I am sure you know what happened next, I FUCKING FREAKED OUT! All I can recall was the way John soothed me, had me stare directly into his eyes, a primitive way of creating that connection we would later have without any eye contact, it would not be the last time we did this and just as attentively as he had before he pulled each and every one of those needles out as painlessly as it had gone in.

Now what I just recounted to you is a story, a vignette, detailing my first real Leather experience with a well trained and exceedingly experienced Top. This is roughly the same type of structure you will find in The Leatherman’s Handbook and it contains many of the same issues with it’s lack of common sense safety advice and all around lack of context as I have so far given you. In 1972 The Leatherman’s Handbook was published written by Larry Townsend a journalist with a particular interest in Leathersex. Larry basically covers a lot of ground concerning strictly Gay BDSM, unfortunately with no particular detail, with such subjects as Bondage, Equipment, Finding a partner, Assuming Roles, etc etc. Each subject usually comes with a particular short story attached to illustrate the concepts involved.

Some of the information is so basic and general that it can’t help but be accurate. Although some things like the whole chapter he writes titled Of Friendship and Lovers is highly questionable in my opinion and seems to promote Larry Townsend’s ‘over generalized personal view’ of the people involved in BDSM and their ability to form lasting relationships between them while maintaining the roles of Top and bottoms. The thing that bugs me is this information is uniformly dressed up in the same matter of fact tone of ‘general advice’ as the rest of the book making no particular claim of simply being his ‘personal belief’. Not to mention many of the stories in the book also reflect this ‘personal view’ making me at least wonder about validity in if he actually witnessed this or that event taking place in some cases.

So as to it’s importance for simply being the first ‘how-to book’ written concerning this subject, that my friends is indisputable, but in regards to it’s reputation as a compendium of Leathersex the book in my opinion sadly falls short in providing any depth of information in going about safely doing these things. There have been many other books published that provide a greater understanding and far more explicit and detailed information. Ties That Bind by Guy Baldwin or Leathersex by Joseph W. Bean cover far more ground and with greater depth. Then there are books taking only certain subjects and focusing on them in an almost meditative way like Joseph Bean’s Flogging who writes so lovingly about it I swear I had a crush on the man after I finished reading it. I personally believe by simply adding these few books to your library you will be far more informed than anything you might get out of The Leatherman’s Handbook that has always been seen mainly as more Gay BDSM Erotica than reality.

While were on this particular subject of S&M ‘how-to books’ I have to be honest here I can’t recommend this type of thing be used in exchange for real one-on-one teaching experiences. If there is one thing true about BDSM, you will not learn what I hold most dear from any book I know of on the subject or from some incomplete rambling texts found on the Internet or from attending some beauty pageant/Leather event and most certainly not from reading this stupid review. The essence of what I know I was taught from someone with a great deal of experience at the right place and time when I was also willing to receive it in a meaningful way.

Things like Leather or BDSM in my opinion should be taught to you by example, and they are best communicated intimately like that eye contact I told you about, they are best presented to you from someone with hard won experience and belief that they provide meaning to the age old actions and interactions you become apart of. I think ultimately they give you direction in who you really are as a person and meaning to why you are doing these things. They were presented to me in respect to the current stage of growth of the relationship I was in, the current scene I was doing at the time or the item or knowledge I was being entrusted with.

I know I fail miserably in finding the words to describe what I have experienced and I most certainly do not have the ability to communicate those things so clearly that it would somehow ‘click on’ that circuit in your brain so that during a flogging you understand that it is not in the stroke used or the amount of pain received or the length of time but in that almost visible connection with that other person that takes you beyond that pain being given and focuses you instead on the giving of yourself. I can’t describe or diagram some elaborate suspension or bondage scene and provide a way of how to get beyond the very important aspects of ‘points of support’ and the use of restraints or some of the dangers involved and instead point out to you the total trust and the depth of commitment being displayed and the mutual needle point focus of attention and trust that I have experienced in doing these things.

If you are looking for those things I have just talked about, the things only hinted at in these books, those nebulous meanings behind all these seemingly rough or violent images and actions that turn you on and get you off from reading this or any other BDSM book or perhaps after partaking in one of those scenes yourself… You simply have to go and find that Top, a person with whom you can give your trust to, whom you can give yourself to, and who can physically and intimately teach you some of these things from priceless experience and that unfortunately is not an easy thing to do but it is essential and can’t be bought but most certainly is paid for.

Grade C for a Leather how-to-book that is not aging well at all.
That’s my stupid opinion at least.

Tags: BDSM, Gay, Grade C, L.T. Publications, Larry Townsend

Anne McCaffrey: The Dragonriders Of Pern

It’s a proven fact that a single anal sex experience causes one to be homosexual. The hormones released by a sexual situation involving the anus being broached, are the same hormones found in large quantities in effeminate homosexual males. For example, when I was much younger I knew a young man who has for all intents and purposes, heterosexual. He was mugged, and involved in a rape situation involving a tent peg. This one event was enough to have him start on a road that eventually led to him becoming effeminate and gay. - Anne McCaffrey

- The Dragon Porn of Pern

I am not a Fan Boy, never have been, and so I find it is difficult at times to review books or series that I have loved from my childhood, not because I cannot tell you what attracted me to them originally, but mostly because I find myself extremely bias if not out right critical of what the author eventually said or did or wrote that added or in this case seriously detracted from my personal enjoyment of the series after I got older. Ursula K. Le Guin and her Earthsea, Marion Zimmer Bradley and her groundbreaking Darkover, and last but not least Andre Norton and her Witch World come to mind often (Not that Anne McCaffrey is truly in their league mind you…) in this regard because these are all classic, voluminous, Science Fiction/Fantasy series with which I am torn because, like it or not, I always will be a supreme bitch, and not every god damn book in a series is actually worth reading!

Here in The Dragonriders of Pern I have found unfortunately a prime example of a writer that should have quit while she was ahead and shut her mouth and not tried to act like she had some brilliant, well reasoned, and scientifically researched plan to begin with long, long ago. In my opinion most of her work rides just this side of a Harlequin Romance with space ships and soft porn despite Anne’s continued denial of being a romance writer with a small side of Sci-fi. Yeah, and I am really straight Anne and just have not met the right woman yet.

The Dragonriders of Pern is a compendium of the first three novels of the well known, much loved Dragonrider series, Dragonflight published in 1968, Dragonquest published in 1971, and finally The White Dragon published in 1978. If you only read these first three books, and maybe (I don’t know.), throw in the three children’s books that form the Harper Hall Trilogy Dragonsong, Dragonsinger, Dragondrums, you would find an exciting if somewhat flawed Science Fiction/Fantasy world with dark yet strong willed adult characters bent on survival and some added alternative sexuality (Rough sex, Homosexuality and Rape) explored in the subtext. In this regard this particular book is an excellent purchase, giving you all the juicy Pern goodness you would ever want to read in one easily obtainable lump.

Now, I have to caution you before starting in on a review of these first three novels that I have over the years spent considerable amounts of time and money buying and reading the 15 or so books that compromise the rest of this misguided series and so I must try (Try!… Try, as hard as I can.) to ignore the horrifying and on going wretched disappointments I have been dealt after about the seventh book (Moreta: Dragonlady of Pern published in 1983) one of my absolute favorites in the series and also the last of the “core books” or should I say the last of the “consistent & logical books” written in the series that I recommend. The rest hit me as watching what I assumed to be capable writer (Through bad plotting, bad characterization, bad continuity, obvious greed, and maybe just old age.) trash her best known and most beloved series. So if I get maybe a tad caustic, and maybe a smidgen unfair, be forewarned. I obviously love, and continue to love, after all this time the first seven books of this series. I own them all and read them often enough. I simply refuse to mislead you my friends into thinking they do not have some very very serious flaws.

- Dragonflight

The first book of Pern-lishiousness Eva! Here we meet the sleek and sensuous, oops! I mean, orphaned, rag covered and dirty-smelly Lessa plotting and plying her vengeful way to the tippy-top of Ruatha Hold. She is willing to do, say, or kill whatever and whomever it takes to get back her rightful property from the evil Big Daddy Fax, I mean Lord Fax. Lessa is originally portrayed here as anything but a dumb blond, she admits to killing or overcoming at least eight guys whom Fax had sent over the years to run Ruatha Hold. Then the pesky Dragonriders show up one day looking for some of that old blood, super human, Ruatha womanhood to provide a right and proper candidate for the freshly laid Gold dragon egg back at Benden Weyr. So after years and years of finagling and plotting and finally getting rid of, once and for all, that nasty evil vicious Big Daddy Fax, poor Lessa’s big chance in local politics gets cut short and she gets immediately whisked off to be the next Weyrwoman of Benden Weyr.

If all this goes a little too quickly and comes across slightly disjointed just wait till you check out this first book, we’re talking slap dash action all the way and its quite clear chapter one here of the story was written at a much earlier, less thought out time, and then slapped right on to the rest of the book without a rewrite. Editing and consistency of world building is one of Anne McCaffrey’s major fucking issues, I do not think she believes in it or something.

Dragonflight proceeds on with an introduction of Lessa learning about those wild and wicked Dragonrider ways of life at the Weyr. Let’s talk about sex baby…

Dragons and their riders are the only fighting force that can save Pern from the deadly Thread (evil parasites) that fall from a star that rotates by every so many turns (years). It’s been hundreds of years since the last time this happened and the Holds are questioning if the Weyrs are really all that useful anymore. They want a tax audit! Plucky Bronze Dragonrider F’lar KNOWS, he just KNOWS, that the Thread will be coming SOON (Because he is old school and down with the knowledge of the ancients.) and Benden Weyr on it’s own (As in that’s all the dragons and riders they got.) is not prepared for the coming planet wide catastrophe.

Lessa our sleek sensuous heroine (That’s better.) gets thrown into a ceremony to Impress the mighty Gold dragon Ramoth at the hatching. The riders of the dragons we learn are psychically, telepathically, emotionally and I guess financially bound (Impressed) to their dragons for life much like a yuppie and a BMW with a Starbucks coffee cup holder.

You then find out that there are Green, Blue, Brown, Bronze and Gold dragons (But no Purple! Oh lordy not that!), Gold dragons being biggest female queens of the bunch, it’s on them to lay all the eggs for more dragons, and they in turn are basically loved and cherished by all of dragon kind. Not to mention they are bonded to the only “real women” who ride dragons. Like our Lessa.

OK I’ll do my Anne impersonation here, stomp my feet and demand repeatedly DAMN YOU SLASH WRITERS! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!, Only women are ever allowed to ride the precious and fertile female Gold dragons, nasty smelly manly men ride the rest, well almost, but we will talk of those Green riders later. Bronze dragons are second in size to Gold dragons and the only male dragons allowed to mate with the picky Gold girly-girl dragons. Only one Bronze dragon and rider can logistically mate with the queen at any given mating flight, and that Bronze dude (In Lessa’s case the studly, heterosexual, Bronze rider, and man about town, F’lar.) is the Weyrleader till the next mating flight where the contest for Weyrleader and a chance to get some raunchy rough passionate hetro-sex with a real live female rider begins anew. Well, at least in theory, maybe sometime I’ll go over how Anne relies on constant contrivance in this series to pad the big romances that eventually undercut the functional logic of the world she created.

Everyone else (Including the rest of the heterosexual manly men, Bronze and Brown riders) has to make do with a quickie from the unfertile small Green dragons and their prancing male riders otherwise noted as “those prissy hoes”.

Besides the fact I have not gone into the whole “Must Save Pern” story presented in Dragonflight, because well the whole story is not half as interesting sexy wise, the saving grace of Dragonflight is Lessa and her no holds barred female character. Here is a strong willed woman striving to survive in a world where women are thought of as no more than trophies for the enjoyment of the men who rule. Alpha males abound and scour the planet looking for blond chicks daily.

Lessa’s relationship with F’lar is surprisingly evolved as an equal in cunning and manipulation. They both come to realize that they need each other in order to succeed in their individual goals of saving Pern and earning the respect of those around them. Not to mention F’lar finds out that Lessa is gifted with the unique ability to talk to any dragon she wants and has the useful if limited ability to control men’s minds and then there’s that having sex with the Weyrwoman keeps you in the Weyrleader position deal. Gotta love those job benis!

Now, here is where I have the problem of knowing what the future holds for Lessa and let me be very honest in noting that by the end of this book she is happily married to F’lar and so from now on Anne McCaffrey will simply ignore and marginalize her making F’lar the more important and heroic manly hetro man of the pair.

- Dragonquest

The second book in our Pern-astic tales presents us with F’nor a Brown rider and F’lars second in command (The biggest Brown dragon Eva! Thank you Anne. This is after Ramoth is the biggest Gold dragon Eva! and Mnementh is the biggest Bronze dragon Eva! etc etc etc) and Brekke a new Gold rider (With the biggest Sexual Hangups Eva!) and this book I guess is about their blossoming romance and subsequent tragedy.

Oh yes, and let’s not forget the Oldtimers otherwise known as the Deus Ex Machina from the last book which Lessa valiantly brings with her from the past to help Benden Weyr fight the onslaught of deadly falling Thread the Dragonriders now face. Any-who the Oldtimers and their Weyrs expect a little more lovin from the Holds they protect and thus cause more political problems, and a whole lotta whining and gnashing of collective teeth, while Pern faces certain death *again* from the Thread that decided suddenly to show up on a different time schedule.

Then we have that problem with EVIL NASTY Kylara. Why is Kylara EVIL and NASTY? Maybe because she decided to have an abortion, not that these women have access to “the pill” or anything like that and not because she did not already have two kids from before becoming a Gold rider and not that any of the Dragonriders are great parents to begin with. She just decided to be responsible and figured out a way to do something about it. Oh, boo hiss!
Maybe because she admits she enjoys rough raw nasty dragon sex and plots to see if she can lure F’lar away from Lessa by accidentally having him around when her dragon rises to mate thus trapping him in a evil scheme for at least a night of fun F’lar lovin.
Maybe because she like the rest of the men on this planet are plotting and scheming with their friendly neighborhood Lord Holders to position themselves and consolidate power. Who knows, anyway she is EVIL and NASTY! Anne McCaffrey said so.

Kylara comes across as the strongest and most solidly interesting character in this book, someone who definitely could give Lessa a run for her money. When she has a sudden and nasty head on collision that involves her Gold dragon and Brekke’s Gold dragon killing each other during a unplanned for mating flights of two Gold dragons rising in the same close vicinity and all the dragon men blame evil nasty Kylara for being slack in her duties…

RANT MODE ON: WTF? Mating flights are shown in both these books so far as being pretty much unplanned affairs and fully out of the control of the rider down to the point that the Gold and Bronze riders can all be caught unaware and involved. Remember that is the necessary ingredient of Kylara’s scheme for F’lar? If the Dragonriders knew enough to blame Kylara for not taking some type of precautions or responsibilities here, then where were they to advise both women to get their precious Gold dragons butts away from each other? Tsk tsk tsk.

The rest of the book has F’nor doing something heroic and Brekke tragically coming to terms with the loss of her Gold dragon. Boo-friggin-hoo Brekke, snap out of it already!

- The White Dragon

Oh yes Pern-acious ones! Here is the third and last of the core Dragonrider tales. Introducing Jaxom Lord Holder of Ruatha Hold and his dragon Ruth. (The Biggest White dragon Eva! Well ok, the ONLY White dragon Eva! Anne you shouldn’t have.) Jaxom I will kindly label for you my dear dear friends as the “Wesley Crusher of Pern”.
Oh yeah baby! This guy makes me blow solid chunks I tell ya.

Now Lessa, poor girl, had to give up her dream of being Lord Holder of Ruatha Hold due to impressing her dragon Ramoth and becoming Weyrwoman of Benden Weyr but not our boy Wesley, I mean Jaxom. Nope he gets to keep the dragon and play Lord Holder of Ruatha Hold too. Not to mention a few other things that will come about later in the series. This guy has more cake and eats it too than anyone else in the entire Dragonrider series. Unfortunately unlike the other Wesley Crusher he never suddenly disappears leaving us with a warm and fuzzy feeling which would have made him more palatable in my mind.

Oh my friends, that aint all she wrote oh no siree bob. Anne McCaffrey in this family friendly volume finally addresses the underlying homosexuality of the Dragonriders by seeing it in all it’s sick and twisted perversion through the eyes of our little straight boy Jaxom and man oh man what a mess that is. About halfway through the book Jaxom catches the mating rise of some dragons and after observing a Green dragon rider and his fellows gettin it on, and might I point out turning on Wesley, I mean Jaxom in the process, he immediately runs off to see his little girlfriend Corana and proceeds to RAPE her. Yep, I spelled it in uppercase there so you would catch that. Now there’s some wholesome family entertainment I tell you!

I am not making this up folks. We have so far allowed for the fact that Lessa and F’lar had a rough and tumble, almost BDSM like, mating flight of a Bronze and Gold dragon going one on one, we have even lived through F’nor doing the nasty with Brekke when he barely knew her name. Now in hindsight, it is also apparent to me that Anne McCaffrey meant to show these sex scenes as passionate, unfortunately VIOLENT seems a better word to describe how these various scenes actually come across.

Yes my friends, right here in this handy dandy edition you get a main character raping his girlfriend forcibly and then to top off the whole precious moment he proceeds to chat about it with his dragon getting all guilty and deciding to never, ever, ever, see Corana again, ever! Because she… she… she… let him do it! She liked it? Oh man! Bummer dude! It’s like reading the life and trials of a drunken frat boy.

Anyway Jaxom goes on to do something even more heroic but by this point I start getting nauseous and stop reading.

- Of Subtext and Sexuality and Summary

Homosexual relations do not take place openly in these writings and not by any of the main characters because obviously homosexuals and most females have no power on Pern, they hold no high ranking, decision making, offices to uphold. Homosexuality is simply presented, as the way things are because of the way the Dragonriders respond to the sexual needs of their dragons. Brown riders and Bronze riders are continually presented as “fully male” and Gold riders are “fully female” (and the rest… well you get the picture, they get snickered at.) Even when it is apparent from the number of Bronze and Brown riders not paired with the precious few Gold riders that they must be using the services of a Green dragon and her MALE rider (Especially since F’lar has the biggest Gold dragon Eva! locked up tight there buddy). Anne McCaffrey has obviously meant to present these “fully male”, Browns and Bronze, as finding any Green pairing distasteful (Like Marines after the fifth beer, just don’t kiss me!). Bisexuals and Lesbians apparently don’t exist on Pern (At least in these “core books”.) When it is logical if you have one, then the rest should follow. Right?

So much for a fine example of forward thinking fantasy/sci-fi as Anne McCaffrey tends to want to present it all, because in my estimate at least, it falls way way short of that. Marion Zimmer Bradley’s early sci-fi/fantasy work has no insulting behavior or condescending tone and does a much better job of handling homosexuality without the apparent stereotypes. But in the end what honestly bothers me most is not the way homosexuals or women get portrayed in Anne McCaffrey’s series, not at all. I think there are some good stories here and I do find it interesting and I have spent many years rereading the series over and over again. I really enjoy the dark motivations and the imperfect heroes even when it drips with sexism and so on, much like watching some old anachronistic James Bond flick.

Nope, what really bothers me is when Anne McCaffrey promotes eight year old kiddies coming to her website to talk about reading these very same books and when I hear her change her tune about The Harper Hall trilogy being specifically written for children and the rest of the series for adults and starts promoting the whole damn series as somehow being safe for children to read.

WHAT THE HELL IS SHE THINKING?!?

Please do me a favor and read these books for yourself before giving them to young kids.

That just aint right.

Tags: Anne McCaffrey, Del Rey, Grade C, Sci-fi Romance, Straight