Larry Townsend: The Leatherman’s Handbook

Dancers are not made of their technique, but their passion.

I was a young sailor who had just been stationed in the DC area when I first met Rocco at the small Leather shop in downtown DC. Now I fully admit, I had been turned on by various books I had read like The Leatherman’s Handbook but I had never intentionally gone out seeking any real experience in what it talked about.

Anyway, Rocco asked if I wanted to join him that night for a drink at The DC Eagle, a well known Leather bar in town which I had never gone to. I met him there and had a drink and during our conversation he introduced me to a very good-looking strikingly handsome man in full Leather sitting across the second floor bar from us by the name of John. In recounting to you that night I have to admit I was totally clueless, little did I know that one; Rocco was the president of a well known local motorcycle club not to mention a remarkable Leathersmith and two; John was a well known and highly respected Top.

Rocco left me in John’s care after a couple of drinks and John and I proceeded to talk some more. Then John noticed a young guy in a harness approaching us and asked me if I would be adverse to him indicating we were intending to leave together to this other person he termed a ‘pushy bottom’. Being that I had just spent the last hour or so drooling while staring intently into his beautiful pale blue eyes hoping that he might just suggest such a thing, I readily agreed.

We actually did go back to his place where I begged him to take me into a scene having absolutely no clue what I was asking for or from whom I was asking it of. I stripped and lay there on the bed expecting the typical few swats and a fuck I had thought would take place. Well, the flogging part I got right but one thing lead to another and next thing I know those beautiful blue eyes had me wordlessly accepting first one then another and another till the best way I can describe it I was literally pinned to his bed. Not with restraints, not with ropes or chains or anything I was expecting but with real fucking needles. John later admitted he was testing me, he was testing my limits and would have stopped at any time I wanted, but did so without any verbal negotiation and taking me farther than anyone would expect a total newbie to go and I had readily gone there. Well at least up to a point that is, the moment I let myself realize exactly what had been done and exactly how many of those damn needles were sticking out of my body, well I am sure you know what happened next, I FUCKING FREAKED OUT! All I can recall was the way John soothed me, had me stare directly into his eyes, a primitive way of creating that connection we would later have without any eye contact, it would not be the last time we did this and just as attentively as he had before he pulled each and every one of those needles out as painlessly as it had gone in.

Now what I just recounted to you is a story, a vignette, detailing my first real Leather experience with a well trained and exceedingly experienced Top. This is roughly the same type of structure you will find in The Leatherman’s Handbook and it contains many of the same issues with it’s lack of common sense safety advice and all around lack of context as I have so far given you. In 1972 The Leatherman’s Handbook was published written by Larry Townsend a journalist with a particular interest in Leathersex. Larry basically covers a lot of ground concerning strictly Gay BDSM, unfortunately with no particular detail, with such subjects as Bondage, Equipment, Finding a partner, Assuming Roles, etc etc. Each subject usually comes with a particular short story attached to illustrate the concepts involved.

Some of the information is so basic and general that it can’t help but be accurate. Although some things like the whole chapter he writes titled Of Friendship and Lovers is highly questionable in my opinion and seems to promote Larry Townsend’s ‘over generalized personal view’ of the people involved in BDSM and their ability to form lasting relationships between them while maintaining the roles of Top and bottoms. The thing that bugs me is this information is uniformly dressed up in the same matter of fact tone of ‘general advice’ as the rest of the book making no particular claim of simply being his ‘personal belief’. Not to mention many of the stories in the book also reflect this ‘personal view’ making me at least wonder about validity in if he actually witnessed this or that event taking place in some cases.

So as to it’s importance for simply being the first ‘how-to book’ written concerning this subject, that my friends is indisputable, but in regards to it’s reputation as a compendium of Leathersex the book in my opinion sadly falls short in providing any depth of information in going about safely doing these things. There have been many other books published that provide a greater understanding and far more explicit and detailed information. Ties That Bind by Guy Baldwin or Leathersex by Joseph W. Bean cover far more ground and with greater depth. Then there are books taking only certain subjects and focusing on them in an almost meditative way like Joseph Bean’s Flogging who writes so lovingly about it I swear I had a crush on the man after I finished reading it. I personally believe by simply adding these few books to your library you will be far more informed than anything you might get out of The Leatherman’s Handbook that has always been seen mainly as more Gay BDSM Erotica than reality.

While were on this particular subject of S&M ‘how-to books’ I have to be honest here I can’t recommend this type of thing be used in exchange for real one-on-one teaching experiences. If there is one thing true about BDSM, you will not learn what I hold most dear from any book I know of on the subject or from some incomplete rambling texts found on the Internet or from attending some beauty pageant/Leather event and most certainly not from reading this stupid review. The essence of what I know I was taught from someone with a great deal of experience at the right place and time when I was also willing to receive it in a meaningful way.

Things like Leather or BDSM in my opinion should be taught to you by example, and they are best communicated intimately like that eye contact I told you about, they are best presented to you from someone with hard won experience and belief that they provide meaning to the age old actions and interactions you become apart of. I think ultimately they give you direction in who you really are as a person and meaning to why you are doing these things. They were presented to me in respect to the current stage of growth of the relationship I was in, the current scene I was doing at the time or the item or knowledge I was being entrusted with.

I know I fail miserably in finding the words to describe what I have experienced and I most certainly do not have the ability to communicate those things so clearly that it would somehow ‘click on’ that circuit in your brain so that during a flogging you understand that it is not in the stroke used or the amount of pain received or the length of time but in that almost visible connection with that other person that takes you beyond that pain being given and focuses you instead on the giving of yourself. I can’t describe or diagram some elaborate suspension or bondage scene and provide a way of how to get beyond the very important aspects of ‘points of support’ and the use of restraints or some of the dangers involved and instead point out to you the total trust and the depth of commitment being displayed and the mutual needle point focus of attention and trust that I have experienced in doing these things.

If you are looking for those things I have just talked about, the things only hinted at in these books, those nebulous meanings behind all these seemingly rough or violent images and actions that turn you on and get you off from reading this or any other BDSM book or perhaps after partaking in one of those scenes yourself… You simply have to go and find that Top, a person with whom you can give your trust to, whom you can give yourself to, and who can physically and intimately teach you some of these things from priceless experience and that unfortunately is not an easy thing to do but it is essential and can’t be bought but most certainly is paid for.

Grade C for a Leather how-to-book that is not aging well at all.
That’s my stupid opinion at least.

Tags: BDSM, Gay, Grade C, L.T. Publications, Larry Townsend